Tag Archives: robbers

What The Hell Is This?

dumbassSeems muggers are getting rather fussy in the Big Apple. After two armed men robbed a guy in Central Park, taking his a cellphone, a briefcase and a wallet, they paused a second before handing back his phone. Evidently, the outdated 2010 LG Quantum wasn’t good enough for them. Needless to say the victim used his crappy Quantum to ring the police.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Sore Loser, Well I Never

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

monkey 2OMG, a pair of bungling burglars who cut themselves on broken glass while ransacking a gym came up with an ingenious idea . After having wrecked the place they returned a short time later with white paint to cover over their blood. Hmm, a nice shade of pink. But anywho, the fools had no idea their antics were being recorded on CCTV footage.

Psst Welsh

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, They Live Among Us !

No Balls

new york woman tells robber he hasnt the balls to shoot herWord of warning to any would-be robbers planning to mug a PJ wearing New Yorker by putting a gun to her head. She is going to cut you down so bad, you won’t have time to scratch them. When the woman snuck out of her NY apartment for a smoke, she sprung two thieves robbing her car . When she confronted them, one placed a gun to her forehead and told her ” I’ll shoot you bitch” . Big mistake.  He got this response back … “No, you won’t.” …. followed by….  “It’s not easy to shoot someone. You have to have balls to do that. And you have none.” Ouch. While the mugger processed the insult, one of her friends jumped him. The two were last seen fleeing down the road.

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Reality Show Heist

Of all the low down, sneaky tricks, two students from a tech school robbed two  men by claiming they were shooting a scene for a new reality show called “You Just Got Robbed.” They put them in headlocks, stole $20 whilst filming it all on a cell phone and then took off. Hmm, seems the sequel is “You Just Got Caught!”

Psst Indiana

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The Pitfalls Of Facebook

Note to self, never post a big wad of cash on Facebook.  A 17 year old girl in Sydney, who was helping her granny count a big pile of cash she had stashed, decided to post a photo of it on Facebook. Enter big bad wolves. Two men, armed with a knife and a wooden club, stormed the teen’s parent’s home that very night demanding the cash. Problem? The teenager didn’t live there and neither did granny. Unfortunately, for the parents they did and had to deal with the thugs. Fail.

Psst Sheez, I hope she friggin  defriend the bastards!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

Carjacker Fail

OK, here’s the thing would-be robbers, if you plan to include carjacking in your robbery attempts, make sure you know how to drive a friggin manual car. Two dumbasses pulled a gun on a couple in a car and demanded they get out, hand over their money and cellphones before they jumped into the car. Problem was, neither knew how to drive a stick shift. After a few awkward minutes gear crunching and jackrabbitting up the road, they exited the car and took off on foot.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

No Shit Sherlock

Attention all crooks in Sweden, if you plan to commit a crime, make sure you don’t leave a friggin pile of poop at the scene for the police to later DNA and link to you. Two robbers, who broke into a farm, tied up the owner and made off with money and a car now regret having taken a crap before setting the car alight. Tsk, tsk, I hope they wiped their bums!

 

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!

SpongeBob SquarePants Robber Alert

Attention people, police in Harris County need your help in identifying two robbers. Apparently both were black men but one was wearing SpongeBob Squarepants pajama bottoms and was holding a high powered assault rifle. Yep and they pretty much scared the shit out of two female employees. Sheez, I’d freak too if I saw friggin Spongebob pants (do they even make them for adults?).  Anywho, if you think you know them give the cops a buzz, thanks!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Only in Bel Air

Police are looking for two men with a thick layering of spray on tanner who robbed a paintball store at knife point. Dubbed the “spray tan robbers”, the men came in looking all Jersey Shore demanding paintball guns and supplies. They took off in a beat up SUV.

Psst Isn’t that stuff a bitch to get off?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Give The Girl Back Her Toys

OK robbers, for crying out loud, how many times have I told you, stealing a little girl’s Beanie Babies is no way to go through life…meanies! Scott Napolillo (18) and Sean Knapp (18) got on their bikes and rode to a house in St Cloud to collect a debt. They threatened to stab an unnamed man if he didn’t pay $130. Of course he had no cash, so Napolillo ransacked the house, packing a black bag with 13 AA batteries, 9 Nintendo video games, 6 Beanie Babies, a souvenir baseball bat and a cell phone (and a partridge in a pear tree!!!). Police later spied the two as they rode their bikes against traffic and cut off a car. When confronted about the content of the bag they told police they were items to settle a debt but the victim later told police the Beanie Babies and the Nintendo games belonged to his 7 year old sister.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never