Tag Archives: robbery

Maxi Pad Bandit

One more time Loons, if you are going to conceal your face while robbing a store please don’t use something that will end in tears …and a life of mockery. Poor, silly Gary wasn’t thinking straight when he stuck a feminine hygiene pad on his forehead to conceal his identity when he broke into an auto parts store. He not only got caught but he will now be forever known  as the Maxi Pad Bandit. Dear lord, what were you thinking Gary?

maxi_pad_

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass

Wheelchair Bound Robber Gets Bogged

OK, here’s the thing wheelchair bound man attempting to rob a convenience store, whatever you do, don’t make your escape route over soft sand or you will get bogged. John Christopher Champion (22), who had made off with a 12-pack of beer and a roll of electrical tape after having been stabbed three times in the leg by a conscientious female clerk, didn’t make it very far in his motorized wheelchair. Sand can be such a bitch!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Latest Masked Robber

Oh dear, the latest masked robbery is brought to you by a man in a gorilla mask. Yep, he robbed a taco stand wearing an ape mask and waving around stun gun. His accomplice  went in moments before and ordered a burrito before ape face demanded money. Hmm, kind of a lot of effort for just a taco stand really!

5 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

You Suck As A Superhero

Yeah. NO!

Be kind loons, he’s somebody’s son!  Dale Foughty, a 56 year old sword wielding robber wearing a Spiderman mask, has had his ass kicked by a broom wielding clerk. When Spiderman Dale waltzed into a convience store in North Carolina swinging his sword and demanding money he was promptly poked in the guts with a broom by the clerk. Oh Dale, that’s like a friggin $100,000 bond right there. Bummer.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Gumby Attempts To Rob 7-Eleven

OK, here’s the thing , holding up a San Diego 7 Eleven store in a Gumby outfit is only going to end in tears mister because  firstly, ain’t no one going to take you seriously and secondly, it’s hard to find your weapon in that big old suit when the clerk laughs at you. Alas, the poor fool  had to leave humiliated but not before he dropped some change on the floor.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

First Date From Hell

Listen up single women, here’s a tale you should all heed about finding a meaningful relationship on social media sites. Leah Gibbs, 23, and a mother of two,  thought she had found a potential partner on Facebook. She imagined the first date would be spent on the couch watching a DVD and getting to know Adam Minton. Boy was she off the mark.When she arrived at his house he asked if it was OK to give him a lift so he could briefly visit a friend. She drove him to a shopping center and waited in the car for his return. Five minutes later he jumps back in and shouts at her to “Go,go,go”. The bastard had friggin robbed a betting shop at knife point, a fact she was unaware of until police arrived at his house and arrested the both of them. She was now facing the prospect of being  jailed for being an accomplice. Needless to say the rest of her date was spent in a cell trying to convince the cops she knew nothing about the robbery. So much for that date, he’s off the market for 4 and half years (not including good behavior).

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!, You Go Girl!

UK Singer Target in Murder Plot

UK Singer Joss Stone must be thanking her lucky stars that her neighbors are nosy buggers and reported a suspicious vehicle near her house because it seems two men had plans to rob and kill her. When police arrested the men they found in their car, swords , rope and body bag and maps to her secluded house. Oh yeah, that’s a would be murder if there ever was!

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Crime Doesn’t Pay

You know you’re a loser when you get 11 years in prison for a robbery that netted you 86 cents.OK, sure Devonte Burks pointed a gun during the robbery and OK the damn thing went off and shot the man he was robbing, but 86 cents. Dude you need a new profession.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Do Drugs

And I thought I was bad!

OMG, please tell me the vagina isn’t the new “handbag”!!! A woman who was suspected of robbing the Dunmore Inn was found to have 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty heroin bags, prescription pills and $51.22 hidden in her vagina. Police became sus when she began fidgeting in the back seat of the police car. They later requested a doctor to search Karin Mackaliunas’s privates and viola, cash and drugs. Hmm, that’s quite a big storage compartment.

Want sauce with that?

7 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Chicken Shack Robbery Fail

Note to self, when robbing a Chicken Shack store don’t go putting on one of their t-shirts. Chad Berrien and Rickey Wright were arrested after they allegedly broke into a Chicken Shack in Florida and stole t-shirts, beer and other bits and pieces. The friggin fools were caught by police a short time later as they were the only people in the area wearing Chicken Shack tees and drinking beer!

3 Comments

Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!