Tag Archives: romania

Should Have Had An Apple A Day

wolf in sheeps

Surprise!

Everything was going well at the funeral of a young Romanian doctor until word spread that he had died of AIDS. Enter hysteria. The funeral was attended by the dozens of women he had slept with but who had no idea he was HIV positive. Yep,needless to say that funeral went from sympathy to anger in a very short time. The following day there was an enormous line of over 40 women waiting to be tested. So far two have been confirmed.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing

Sleep With One Eye Open and a Stake

draculaGuess what loons? Bram Stoker’s castle in Romania is up for sale. Yep, the ultimate sleep with one eye open and a stake house. The elderly owners are kinda sick of looking for somewhere to pee as the castle has 57 rooms but no bathroom. Awks. The price is a mere $135 million, but the down side is you will have to live in Romania and put up with people doing stupid dracula accents. The owners are hoping the new owners will make it into a hotel. Boo!!!

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Filed under Well I Never

Burglar Rings To Report Another Burglar

Burglar rings olice to report another burglarOh for the love of Darwin, a burglar in Romania was so concerned that a noise he heard while robbing a house was another burglar he called police to report it. When police arrived they found no other burglar and arrested the fool. Seems the noise he heard was the family cat.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

Starlings Can’t Handle Booze

Phew, am I gonna regret this in the morning!

My, my, my, authorities in Romania say the dozens of dead starling birds found on the weekend had drank themselves to death. After examining their stomach content,  veterinarians concluded the little creatures had got themselves pissed on left over grapes from the wine making process.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Tax Free Witches

I'll get you my pretty and your dog too!!!

Well, well, well, those a scaredy cat then? Fortune tellers and witches in Romania can breathe  sigh of relief after politicians failed to pass a law forcing them to have to pay taxes. Seems the senators were scared shitless they would be cursed if they forced them to produce receipts, let alone make them accountable if their predictions proved crap.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

What Happens If We Aren’t Alone?

Everybody panic! Remember that scary friggin cloud over Moscow a few weeks ago? Well another one has appeared in Romania. No seriously, I think the aliens are just messing with us now! And while everyone fears the worst and begin packing their doomsday bags, meteorologists say it’s simply a formation known as a “fallstreak hole”, which occurs when moisture in the air cools below 0C but is unable to turn into ice. Yeah right, who ya going to believe, a friggin meteorologist or a paranoid, alien fearing loon?

Psst Hello, Romania is friggin Dracula’s turf!!! Coincidence? I think not!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Scary, Join the skeptic club!

New Meaning To Getting Hammered

Man uses hammers to cure constipation

Using tools for your stools..what a fool!

Please don’t try this at home people because we now know it doesn’t work. Romanian Viorel Firoiu has stunned medics in Orlea by rocking up to hospital with two hammerheads stuck up his butt.Seems Old Firoiu had been gorging himself on cherries and alcohol all day and found himself a tad constipated. That’s when the idea struck him. If he stuck a hammerhead up his bum it may help shift the shit.Unfortunately the hammerhead got stuck, so he came up with a second idea…if I used another hammer to get the first one out it might…ouch…where did it go? Hmm, when Firoiu rocked up to hospital he was complaining of excruciating pain.X-rays revealed the tools were well and truly wedged and he had to undergo surgery to have them removed.

Psst Wanna see what two hammerheads in the butt look like? The Sun.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Evolution Be Damned!, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!