Tag Archives: rome

Fake Fur

mouseThe high society of Rome are all aghast after a group of Chinese business owners were busted for making fake cashmere clothes. And by fake I mean the cashmere was actually rat fur and acrylic.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Beware The Ides of October

pigeons 3Oh crap, thanks to budget cuts , the starlings have shat all over Rome. The flock of about 1.5 million fly in around October for a little R&R. They lounge around eating olives and then in the evening they let rip, all over streets , rooftops, statues and slow moving tourists. Local authorities normally minimize the poop fest by pruning olive trees and playing loud falcon noises but this year their budgets were cut and now it has been raining poop.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !

Footloose II

Put those poles away girls it's back to praying!

Tsk, tsk, naughty nuns, the Pope no longer sees your dancing around the altar as cute. You’re fired.Pope Benedict has closed the monastery of Santa Croce in Gerusalemme after an inquiring into the dancing nuns. Hmm and yes, they are the very same ones Madonna (the singer) and other celebrities have been known to hang out with.  As for the monks, they too have been given their marching orders and have now been relocated to other churches in Italy.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Hijack fail

You know what I hate? When you try to hijack a plane but get overpowdered by cabin crew.  Blahahaha cabin crew, embarrassed much? The Kazakhstan man  whipped out a small knife nail file during a  flight  from Paris to Rome demanding the plane be diverted to Tripoli but instead got himself a licking by the  flight crew.

Psst Dude? Nail file? You know those flight attendants will scratch your eyes out for a nail file!!!!

UPDATE : It gets even better, seems the dude is Valeriy Tolmashev, a United Nations and UNESCO adviser.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Thought To Ponder

Hmm, why is it so many people have tried to figure out who was the inspiration behind Leonardo’s  Mona Lisa, yet no one seems to give a damn about this hag? I’m just saying.

Psst No Jammers, it’s not your ex!!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Embassies On Alert

That was no friggin Kris Kringle!!!

No need to panic but if you are working in an embassy in Rome don’t open any friggin parcels, they could go kaboom. Two separate parcel bombs exploded at the Chilean and Swiss embassies in Rome injuring two people yesterday. No one has yet claimed responsibility but it definitely wasn’t a disgruntled Santa.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Snake Used in Drug Den

You talking to me?

You know what I hate? A big friggin nasty assed albino python curled up on 200 grams of pure cocaine. I really friggin hate that. The python, who was found snoozing on a heat mat in a Rome drug den , had been used to intimidate addicts . The poor bugger had been kept hungry so he’d be more aggressive. After the reptile was coaxed into  a cage (thanks to a chicken) police found a nice stash of cocaine under his mat. Last place you’d look!

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never, Whoops!

Bizarre Italian Murder Mystery

OK loons it’s Miss Marple time once more. This time we are in Rome, where detectives are trying to solve a baffling mystery. They have discovered a perfect skeleton with just one friggin catch, it’s made up of five different bodies. Oh dear, Hannibal Lecter must be in town. This is what police know, the bones belong to three women and two men aged between 25-55 years  and they have all been murdered within a 20 year span from the 1980’s until 2006.

Firefighters stumbled upon the bizarre skeleton while putting out a blaze in the Magliana suburb of southern Rome.Initially they thought it was the remains of pensioner Libero Ricci (77) who disappeared in 2003 because his wallet and keys were found close by. However his family insisted it wasn’t him because the  clothes didn’t match. DNA testing established it wasn’t Ricci but the skull did belong to someone related to him. Further DNA relieved 5 different bodies were used to make up the skeleton, leading police to fear a serial murdering bone collector. Police have yet to identify the victims.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Drink Driver Special

If you live in Rome, Georgia and are planning to drink and drive on New Year’s Eve you might want to give McGuire, Jennings and Miller Funeral Homes a ring. They are offering free funerals to  anyone killed in a crash while driving drunk and it includes preparation of the body, coffin, a grave and even a hearse. All you have to do is sign a contract stating you plan to drink or use drugs and then drive Dec 31. Oh come on people it’s a scare campaign.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

First Rule of Fight Club

Want a piece of me!

You want a piece of me?

Word of advice to all Rome muggers, don’t mess with tae-kwondo trained Korean tourists if you can help it. An Italian thief was nearly kicked and punched to death when he stole a woman’s handbag near the Theatre of Marcellus in Rome. Despite the thief wielding a knife at the Korean family,  two decided to chase him. They then unleashed a serious of tae kwondo moves on him that would have made Bruce Lee proud. The thief was eventually rescued by a patrolling police officer who separated the men. Even though the mugger was arrested he thanked the policeman prefusely for saving him from the really mean tourists.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt