Tag Archives: royal wedding

Meet the Markles

Oh, how I love a family fur fight being played out in the media. It’s only been a few days but Meghan Markle’s half-sister Samantha has poked the lion (again). Using her fav form of attack, Twitter, she has given an expose on the mother of the bride during the Royal wedding…..’She looked more like the hockey player in the penalty box.’ Ouch, burn. But our favourite 15 minuter hadn’t quite finished…’The Givenchy was beautiful but I would have put her in a hockey uniform.’ The half-sister is also pissed their family won’t be allowed to use Meghan’s coat of arms. She feels the Royals are no better than them…’You’ve got inbreeding, you’ve got substance abuse, you’ve got alcohol abuse, you’ve got infidelity.’ Oh bless, there goes any chance at a Christmas invite at Balmoral…just saying.

PSST Hands up who would love to see Samantha cop an invite and be seated next to Prince Phillip? Oh pleeeease!!!

2nd PSST Why hasn’t anyone signed the Dooley-Markles to a reality show yet?

 

2 Comments

Filed under They Live Among Us !, You Go Girl!

Fergie’s Back

Princess Beatrice to marryThe Queen, god bless her, has finally forgiven Fergie. Yes, I know, crazeee. Anywho, it seems Princess Beatrice has a ring on it and unless the Royal family wants uber awkwardness at the next Royal wedding they have to make nice with the mother of the bride. So to cut a long story short, the toe sucking outcast has been invited to join the main peeps at Balmoral (the main building) instead of staying alone in a cottage on the estate. Sheez, how thick her hide to even show up at Balmoral year after year only to be ushered to a hut while the Royals make merry in the main pad. Here’s to some very awkward silences.  Oooh and I can’t wait to see what Fergie and her offspring wear to the wedding.

11 Comments

Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Who Were The Two Nuns At The Royal Wedding?

While the whole world was LOLing over the two atrocious hats worn by Princess Eugenie and Beatrice at the Royal wedding, some people were eyebrow raising over the two grey tunic nuns seated next to Wills and Kate during the ceremony. One in particular , the tall one wearing Reeboks, raised quite a bit of suspicion. Who were these nuns? Why did they get prime seats (especially when poor Chelsea  was near the exit)?  Were they “ninja nuns” or undercover MI5 agents? So many questions so few answers.

Psst All I can safely say is they weren’t friggin fashion police!

Nun or ninja?

10 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Beatrice Becomes Kim Jong Il’s Fashionista

Egads, seriously princess! Despite missing out on an invite  Kim Jong Il took no time in copying Princess Beatrice’s  style. However he is claiming she stole it from his 1980’s Il Spring Collection!

Why you steal from me?

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Kim Jong Il

Vicar Does A Cartwheel

Was the vicar pleased that  Kate and Wills had finally said “I do” or was he just glad to see the back of the 2,000 guests at Westminster Abbey?

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Royal Wedding Review

Yes, the loon watched the Royal Wedding. For some reason I was captivated by Will’s bald spot, no matter how hard I tried I kept staring.  Also fascinating was Elton John’s inability to know the words to any of the hymns sang. Fergie’s kids had rather hideous hats. Chelsea got a bummer seat, plonked next to someone she air-kissed. Harry looked bored. Beckham wore his OBE medal on the wrong side. Hmm, I swear Kate choked over the word “poorer” during the “richer for poorer” spiel . Oooh and that ring looked like it wasn’t gonna fit. You twist not push Will!!!! Mommy Middleton looked like the cat who swallowed the canary while hubby just sweated profusely! Everyone got a royal welcome except for Charles and Camilla (not crowd pleasers). Poor darl must be still spitting chips she was married at a registry office!

Psst Rumors are that Kate will place her wedding bouquet on Princess Diana’s grave.

16 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Cheap Wine At Royal Wedding

I’m glad my Royal Wedding invitation got lost in the mail. Sheez, £8.50 wine? I don’t think so. Hmm, already Kate’s adding her commoner’s touch!

Want a Berocca with that?

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never