Say What?

OMG no Burger King , no. The fast food chain is offering free burgers to any ex employees who have been sacked. There is a catch. All you have to do is go onto you LinkedIn account and post this … “I got fired. I want a free Whopper. #WhopperSeverance.” WTF marketing department a) comfort food just adding to unemployment woes b) that is going to kill your LinkedIn profile. Good luck finding another job anytime soon. You will need those burgers. Surely Fake News?

Show Me The Money

The quickest way to lose your job as a leading Dutch banker? When they discover that you are making money on the side by being a dominatrix prostitute who likes to dress up in a Nazi uniform and whip men. Yep, that’ll do it. The woman who describes herself as a ‘high class nymphomaniac’ got sprung after she promoted her services on the internet.

Teacher in Da Hood

You know you suck at being a teacher when you order a hit on a seventh grader. The female teacher gathered a pose of 6 kids from 8th grade to attack the boy after he made a comment she didn’t like. The gang picked him up by the neck and forcibily made him apologise to her. Needless to say she’s got the flick and the parents are thinking about a civil suit.

Psst Florida.

What, Another Funeral?

OK, here’s the thing British social worker, when trying to get time off work you would be wise to lay off the dead relative excuse. Seems the woman had lied about the death of …wait for it …. her father, mother, uncle, aunt, brother and ex-husband. All in all she managed to get 66 days off work. Unfortunately, the frequency in which her relis were dropping off  drew too much suspicion and now she is just someone that they use to know.

Well Isn’t That Ironic

Never sack a man who packs stress balls for a living or he’ll just punch you in the goddamn face. Yes indeedy, when the stress ball packer was told by a warehouse manager that he was losing his job he thanked him with a knuckle sandwich. He then produced two knives and threatened to cut up the staff. Now there’s a fly in your chardonnay.

Want sauce with that?

All Iranian Female Ministers Do, Is Complain

Just remember who wear’s the grey trouser pants around here

Well that didn’t last long. Imadinnerjacket has sacked Iran’s first woman minister because she had the audacity to criticise the country’s health policies. Seems the health minister Marziyeh Vahid Dastjerdi’s gripe was about the importation of luxury cars taking priority  over the importing of vital medicines. Problem is that since being slapped with International sanctions, Iran’s had to  prioritize what they can bring into the country and medicine ain’t top of the list …. nor is female ministers it seems!!! Begone.

Epic Teacher Fail

Oh my, a Chinese pre school teacher was been given her marching orders after she posted a photo of herself lifting a kid off the ground by his ears!!! Evidently Yan Yanhong posted about 700 photos of children being abused in her school but claims they were taken by another teacher. When Yanhong was confronted by reporters she told them we “were just having fun”.

Kid being thrown backwards into a bin. 

We were just mucking around!

British Prime Minister Sacks Larry The Mouse Hunter

Poor pussy

How despicable. British Prime Minister David Cameron has given one of his staff members the flick due to his inability to fulfill his job requirements. It is with great sadness to announce the firing of Larry the “Chief Mouser”. yes, the little kitty hired to rid 10 Downing Street of vermin has been sleeping on the job. In fact since taking the illustrious position in February 2011, he has only caught one mouse, and that was last month when he obviously got wind of the his boss’s discontent. Hmm, I’m guessing it’s back to the animal shelter for Larry as Freya the tabby takes his place.

Customer Service Fail

My bad?

Um, when employed as a customer service agent for a mobile network company it probably isn’t a good idea to text a 16 year old girl “I hope you burn in hell” after she made a complaint. That’s a sacking right there.

So Who’s The Bully Now?

A Texas teacher is  in big doodah after she ordered a group of school kids to line up and take turns in whacking an alleged school bully. It’s is believed up to 24 kids were told by the teacher to hit 6 year old Aiden and later to “hit him harder” in order to teach him a lesson. Another teacher who had suggested the idea is also in trouble. Oh well, another one who won’t like Mondays!!!

Want sauce with that?