Tag Archives: saint nicholas

Don’t Expect Santa Any Time Soon

You better not cry. The remains of Saint Nicholas aka Santa have been discovered in Turkey. Yes, his tomb has been discovered under an ancient church. No word on the fate of the reindeers. On the bright side, you don’t have to worry about being naughty this Christmas, Santa is dead….just saying.

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Father Christmas Is Dead and Buried in Kilkenny

Rudolph, I can explain everything!

WTF, Santa is dead? Experts are claiming the body (that’s right, body) of St Nicholas is buried at Jerpoint Abbey in County Kilkenny. Geez, so who the hell is living at the North pole then? Evidently the whole Father Christmas thingy was inspired by St Nicholas of Myra, who was one very generous dude who lived in Turkey over 800 hundred years ago (So is that why we have Turkey for Chrissy? ). St Nick built his reputation around leaving anonymous gifts for the poor, thus his metamorphous to Father Christmas (who Coca Cola metamorphosed into Santa). Confusion over his where abouts after his death have led historians to believe his remains were buried in Turkey, Italy and now Ireland. So if this is true, what are you going to tell your little snowflakes now?

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never