Sigh Of Relief For Mushrooms Lovers

All hail the scientists. Finally, Chinese scientist have identified the deadly toxins killing off mushroom lovers. Yep, they originally thought Tricholoma equestre was responsible for kidney failure that occurs when eating a dodgy mushy but it seems its actually Tricholoma terreum. Still no cure for cancer.

Baby Poo Sausages

Ooh yummy. Scientists in Italy believe chomping on sausages containing bacteria from baby poo could be good for your health.  I will leave you with that thought.

Yes Honey, We All Came From A Rock

No need to beam us up, seems we’ve already been there. Some scientists now suspect that life began on Mars and then came to Earth via a rock . Reasoning? Well, evidently all the minerals essential to creating life were only available on Mars at the time. So basically that makes us all a bunch of martians .

Want Sauce with that?

Is Your Kid A Psychopath?

Want to know if your kid is a psychopath? Wonder no more.  The University College London can tell you with a simple brain scan. Scientists there have been testing kids between 10-16 to see if a certain region of their brain shows reduced activity when they see images of people in pain. If they do, viola, you have a potential psychopath on your hands. Hmm, not really sure what you do with that information but maybe you should start by hiding the pets 😦

Want sauce with that?

Jailhouse Rock

It’s a bitch being a scientist in Italy. An Italian court has sentenced 6 of them (plus a government official) to 6 years jail for failing to predict the L’Aquila earthquake of 2009 which killed 300 people. The group were all members of the National Commission for the Forecast and Prevention of Major Risks whose job it was to keep an eye on earthquake dangers and keep the city informed. Sheez, who knew those low level tremors would lead to a  6.3 shaker. Anywho, on the bright side I hear there are 7 new positions vacant.

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Who’s The Dope Now?

Israeli scientists have cultivated a cannabis plant that looks, tastes and smells like marijuana but doesn’t get people stoned. Hmm, a million hippies just collectively sighed! AND still no cure for cancer.

Want sauce with that?

Who’s killing the great nuclear scientists of Iran?

Come out, come out, where ever you are. Seems over the last few years Iran’s top scientists have systematically been  bumped off and fingers are being pointing directly at US (CIA), UK (MI6) and Israel (Mossad).The latest victim was Ahmadi Roshan, a deputy director of Iran’s main uranium enrichment plant, who was going on his merry way when assassins on motorbikes rode up along side his car and placed a magnetic bomb  ….. kaboom. Now Imadinnerjacket and the Ayatollah are peeved. Oh boy, the UN, shall be expecting some strongly worded letters, no doubt!

The Shroud Still Shrouded In Mystery

After years of testing and re-testing the mysterious Shroud of Turin in an attempt to prove or disprove it was the burial cloth of Jesus Christ,  Italian government scientist have finally come to a conclusion. Yep, the cloth is supernatural.Reason? No technology today can reproduce the damn thing. The scientist got close by using high-intensity ultra violet lasers but no medieval hoaxer could have got close to pulling  it off (not even that smart ass, Leonardo). Therefore “The implications are… that the image was formed by a burst of UV energy so intense it could only have been supernatural.” Hmm, so in other words Aliens huh?

Woolly Mammoth To Be Cloned

US considering it as a cost cut measure against the Taliban

Color me friggin mad, but Russian and Japanese scientists are working on returning the Woolly mammoth to life thanks to DNA found in ancient bone marrow. Hello, has anyone watched the end of Jurassic Park?  The scientists are planning to transplant crap from the bone marrow cells into elephant egg cells to create an embryo which will then be placed in the poor friggin elephant’s womb. Seriously, do we need another 13ft, 9 ton beast roaming the earth?

Psst Still no cure for cancer!

The Yeti Is Alive

Stop looking people, scientist believe they have found indisputable proof of the existence of the Yeti in Siberia. Seriously dudes, ‘indisputable proof’ means you have the big hairy beast in captivity! Anywho, during an expedition to the Azasskaya cave the researchers from US and Canada found the usual Abominable Snowman evidence…footprints and hair samples. Hmm, but no hairy beast though! Why didn’t they just wait until the beast came home?

Psst What’s the bet if they ever find it they will kill it (for scientific reasons of course!)