Well, well, well, we have a new twist in the Jack the Ripper mystery. Spanish writer Jose Luis Abad is claiming the real Ripper was right under everyone’s noses…. it was Chief Inspector Frederick Abberline of Scotland Yard. Mr Abad,a handwriting expert, compared the handwriting found in the Ripper’s diary (discovered in Liverpool in 1992) with that of the chief inspector and viola, a match. Hmm, very suspicious considering that Scotland Yard is currently fighting a legal battle to withhold secret Ripper files compiled by Special Branch officers in the 1880s. The plot thickens.
Tag Archives: Scotland yard
Honey, sweetie, darl can you round up all the lesbians, gays, blacks and transgenders (hell, any minority) who are currently or previously firearms trained because the Queen is on the lookout for new bodyguards! Yes, the new age sensitive and apparently now very politically correct Royal family are looking for people within minority groups to protect them.Reason? Who friggin knows, maybe they think they can employ them for below minimum wage? Bless. Anywho, everyone is pissed about it, especially Scotland Yard who have been asked to advertise the 30 or so positions (with the focus being to encourage the minorities to apply). Winning applicants will become part of the elite SO14 Royal Protection Squad those role it will be to deliver residential protection for the Royal Family (what, like in the form of bitch slapping and sarcasm?). Well one thing is for certain if the gays are going to be protecting the Royals, those Buckingham Palace staff parties just got a whole lot more fun and bitchier!
Attention phone operators at Scotland Yard, we have an important announcement…. we want you to record your No1’s and No2’s as a code three. Oh yeah, Nanny State is cracking down on the time wasting toilet breakers. You know the ones. The people who are forever spending copious amounts of time in the loo pondering life’s big questions, instead of sitting at their desk answering the public’s. So anywho, phone operators at Scotland Yard will now be required to log all their toilet time. Hmm, so with any luck, next time you have an emergency you wont be put on hold!
Psst They aren’t happy about it!