Tag Archives: Scotland yard

A New Jack The Ripper Suspect

Well, well, well, we have a new twist in the Jack the Ripper mystery. Spanish writer Jose Luis Abad is claiming the real Ripper was right under everyone’s noses…. it was Chief Inspector Frederick Abberline of Scotland Yard. Mr Abad,a handwriting expert, compared the handwriting found in the Ripper’s diary (discovered in Liverpool in 1992) with that of the chief inspector and viola, a match. Hmm, very suspicious considering that Scotland Yard is currently fighting a legal battle to withhold secret Ripper files compiled by Special Branch officers in the 1880s. The plot thickens.

Want sauce with that?

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LulSec Founder Arrested

Oh my, I sure hope the British ploice  know what they are doing. They are claiming they have arrested one of the founders of LulzSec and Anonymous, who goes by the online nickname of Topiary. The internet hacking group have been responsible for the hacking of the CIA, Sony, The Sun newspaper and the US senate websites. The 19 year old was arrested on the Shetland Islands during a  “pre-planned intelligence-led operation” raid. LOL!

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Smoke And Mirrors

Oh for crying out loud it seems one of the global hackers of Sony, Nintendo and the CIA is a 19 year old living with his mum  in Wickford, Essex. Yes you heard me his mum Essex!!! It is believed Ryan Cleary, who was arrested by Scotland Yard in a dawn raid, is part of a larger hacking gang called LulzSec which is a splinter group of Anonymous. Anywho, Cleary’s identity  may have been blown by rival hackers who deliberately published his name, address and cell phone number on the net recently. Hmm, gee, so it wasn’t complex detective work by the CIA or Scotland Yard then?  His half brother told reporters “Ryan used to be part of WikiLeaks. He has upset someone doing that and they made a Facebook page having a go at him.” Sounds more like the  hackers are  messing with them!!!

Hmm, I hope Cleary has a passport because he may be taking a trip to the US.

Psst For 10 hours after the arrest the LulzSec’s Twitter account was silent but then this appeared “Seems the glorious leader of LulzSec got arrested, it’s all over now… wait… we’re all still here! Which poor bastard did they take down?”  ….to be continued

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Secret Jack The Ripper Files

Elementary dear Watson

Well, well, well, my little Sherlocks, seems Scotland Yard has been keeping a little secret under lock and key. Hmm, evidently they have a bucket load of unreleased info on Jack the Ripper. Four thick ledgers to be precise which were compiled by Special Branch officers during the Whitechapel slaughters in 1888. Whatever is contained in those ledgers must be of some importance because  Ripper investigator,  Trevor Marriott, is having a devil of a time, trying to get his hands on them. For three years he has tried to obtain the ledgers but Scotland Yard simply refuse, so now, in a last ditch effort, he’s going to a tribunal to try to secure a release. Police say the files contain the names of Police informants therefore they don’t want them released .

Want sauce with that?

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That Requires Special Sauce!

When you are on a hunger strike outside the Houses of Parliament in Britain, does eating Big Mac’s count? Evidently not, because they have a £7m overtime bill from the police to prove it. Parameswaran Subramaniyan sat in a tent in one of the longest running demonstrations in Britain but all the time he was secretly snacking on Maccas. Despite Scotland Yard picking up his secret pig outs on specialist monitoring equipment, they turned a blind eye to it because they didn’t want to start a riot (so very Nanny State-ish!). Hmm, it wouldn’t be because of all that extra overtime now would it? Hell no, that would be so very skeptical-ish!

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Equal Opportunity Royals

Now lets get it straight, I'm the only queen around here boys!

Now lets get it straight, I'm the only queen around here boys!

Honey, sweetie, darl can you round up all the lesbians, gays, blacks and transgenders (hell, any minority) who are currently or previously firearms trained because the Queen is on the lookout for new bodyguards! Yes, the new age sensitive and apparently now very politically correct Royal family are looking for people within  minority groups to protect them.Reason? Who friggin knows, maybe they think they can employ them for below minimum wage?   Bless. Anywho, everyone is pissed about it, especially Scotland Yard who have been asked to advertise the 30 or so positions (with the focus being to encourage the minorities to apply). Winning applicants will become part of the  elite SO14 Royal Protection Squad those role it will be to deliver residential protection for the Royal Family (what, like in the form of bitch slapping and sarcasm?). Well one thing is for certain if the gays are going to be protecting the Royals, those Buckingham Palace staff parties just got a whole lot more fun and bitchier!

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Staff Getting No 2’ed Over Code Threes

I can't help it if this job gives me the shits!

I can't help it if this job gives me the shits!

Attention phone operators at Scotland Yard, we have an important announcement…. we want you to record your No1’s and No2’s as a code three. Oh yeah, Nanny State is cracking down on the time wasting toilet breakers. You know the ones. The people who are forever spending copious amounts of time in the loo pondering life’s big questions, instead of sitting at their desk answering the public’s. So anywho, phone operators at Scotland Yard will now be required to log all their toilet time. Hmm,  so with any luck, next time you have an emergency you wont be put on hold!

Psst They aren’t happy about it!

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