Attention loons, best job ever is being offered in Scotland. Hands up who wants to be a nanny? OK, there is just one catch, apart from having to look after friggin snowflakes, you have to contend with a ghost. Evidently the place is hell crazy…weird noises, furniture moving, things breaking (the usual paranormal stuff). So far 5 nannies have run for the hills. The family claim they have never experienced anything out of the ordinary. Hmm, so what are the odds they employed 5 lying, delusional child care workers? Sleep with one eye open nannies.
Tag Archives: scotland
If anyone knows what is yellow and blue and can fly 35,000ft, two Glasgow pilots want a word. The pilots were flying an Airbus 320 over Scotland, with 200 passengers on board, when the unidentified flying object came within meters of the plane. The object came at them so fast they had no time to dodge the thing but luckily it whizzed under the plane. It was a perfect sunny day and both pilots saw the object very clearly but when they radioed Glasgow Airport control tower to report the incident the tower claimed they had nothing on their radar. Hmm, yellow and blue? Sounds like the aliens are getting rather lavish with their spaceship designs in their old age.
A road in Scotland was closed for 12 hours after a truck carrying glue jackknifed and dropped its container. The mass of liquid glue engulfed the lorry and a car before flowing up to the doorstep of a nearby house . Local road workers used grit to cover the glue. Hmm, glue and grit would make a nice friggin rock!!!!
A rather peeved Scottish man rang 999 (911 equivilent) claiming that the staff at an Edinburgh McDonalds store had ignored him, so he had jumped into his car , driven to the drive-thru window and proceeded to hold up the queue. Needless to say the dispatcher asked him for a McFeast and fries. OK, no she didn’t.
Do not and I repeat, do not, get between a woman and her hormones….or in this case, a woman, her hormones and her car. The Scottish woman, who blamed female troubles, was fleeing from a store detective when she cleaned up the unsuspecting pedestrian and took him for a 300 meter ride on the hood of her car. Stuart Morris claims Suzanne Gilchrist drove the car at high speeds and from side to side trying to get him off, but he clung on tight. That’s a jailing of four years and three months right there, my dear.
A man who wanted to live like Bear Grylls for a year has been found dead in a hut in the Scottish wilderness. David Austin (29) from Derby survived less than a month before falling victim to hypothermia.
The Scots much have been sipping a little too much of the hard stuff this year. Check out the best of the weirdest baby names …. Jesuslovesme, Awesome, Boo-Tiger, Delight and Marvelous. Hmm, there might be a few teens in therapy later down the track.
Psst Sophie and Jack were the most popular.
Oh my, a slight Scottish news blunder had infamous Nazi Rudolf Hess delivering the weather report. Awkward much?