Tag Archives: security guard

Don’t Clean Your Gun On a Street

You know what I hate? When you are a security guard cleaning your gun outside a bank and you accidentally shoot a pedestrian. I really friggin hate that! Bappa Das was the unlucky fellow who received a blast to the gut after the bungling guard, Rabin Biswas, accidentally pulled the trigger. While Mr Das lay in a pool of blood, Biswas was left fending off a mob who chased him after he fled. Don’t you just love India?

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

You Need Balls Of Steel To Work At Home Depot

Hmm, I am thinking the last thing you would want is your testicles twisted by Robin Roberts. Ms Roberts, a suspected shoplifter, allegedly had a confrontation with a Home Depot security guard before twisting his testicles and then pulling a knife on him. The guard had confronted her over several items believed to have been lifted from the store. At some stage during their tussle another man joined in before fleeing. The guard was eventually able to cuff Roberts but then had to ring the Dallas Fire and Rescue after she suffered an asthma attack.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Welcome to South Africa

I don't know, something about a banana

A teenager was shot in the head by a banana plantation security guard after he suspected the teen had stolen some bananas. Bafana Ndlovu (14) was walking down the street with his mates and eating a banana when a a man in a red Nissan double-cab bakkie (interpretation thanks Julie! Hmm, is it like a bokkie only bigger?) opened fire on them. Enter RUSA (Reaction Unit South Africa) who are now investigating the incident. Bafana’s father said it was highly unlikely his son stole any bananas because they grow their own. The boy still remains in hospital.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Woman Headbutts and Urinates On Security Guard

OK, here’s the thing Marilyn Cole, headbutting and pissing on a Wal-Mart security guard is gonna get you a friggin date with the law. The would-be Wal-Mart thief had just nicked some make-up and curtains with a friend when she was spotted by a security guard. As he tried to stop them from making their great escape in a car he was head-butted and fell backwards into the car. It was here it got a little ugly, Cole sat on him and as he tried to call 911 on his phone, she fought him for it and in the ensuing battle she urinated on him. Wal-Mart Security guy 0, seriously gross thief 0, car seat 0… no winners here!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wrong, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never