Mick Fanning One Lucky Bastard

There is nothing like live TV to capture your worst nightmare. Aussie legend Mick Fanning was attacked by a shark during a South African surfing event as the cameras were on him. Fortunately he was able to Chuck Norris the beast.

How to Avoid Being Eaten By a Shark

According to a new report playing dead when confronted by a shark is not going to save you. No shit Sherlock. Who on earth could play dead for goodness sakes? Anywho, a shark is still going to have a nip whether you play dead or not. Useless in my case because, even if I miraculously managed to pretend I was dead, I would still have to have a little  peek to see where the bugger was. Oh and if you thought splashing around like a mad man was going to scare it off, don’t bother,  evidently it attracts more sharks.

Here  is where  the loon would definitely become shark bait…..jewellery or bright swimming costumes will make you look like a big old shiny fish.

Never , ever , enter water while bleeding. Sharks are bloodhounds of the sea and can pinpoint exactly where and who .

Make sure you swim in a group, preferably right smack bang in the middle. Sharks like to pick off the lone swimmer.

My advice on how to avoid a shark attack ….. take up knitting.

 

 

Rogue Shark Alert

Feet up people holidaying on the island of Reunion, there is a rogue shark on the loose and it just bit a teenager in two. Yes, you heard me, in TWO.  The 15 year old girl was swimming just a few metres from shore when it pounced. Seriously, I am glad these things aren’t amphibian.

Fourth Shark Fatality

Maybe not!!!

Feet up Perth. Another shark attack, this time near Busselton. So far there have been four fatal shark attacks off the West Australian coast in less than a year. Why can’t I stop the Jaws theme playing in my head?

Feet Up Perth

Could Perth have a serial killer shark on the loose? A 3m white pointer is believed responsible for the death of an American man who had been diving off Rottnest Island today. Hello, this is the third victim in seven weeks. OK, no one is saying it’s the same shark but if it is…yikes! The man, believed to be on a working holiday, was diving alone when the shark attacked. By the time his friends saw the “flurry of bubbles” it was all too late. Authorities have now been given the all clear to kill the rogue shark. Hmm, aren’t all white pointers rogues?

 

Surfing The Shark

Forget jumping the shark, Doug Niblack surfed the shark! Yep, while surfing at Seaside a 12ft great white bumped him off his board but instead of becoming shark bait he somehow ended up standing on top of the creature. Humiliated the shark swam off.

Rogue Shark Strikes Again

OK, note to self, do not go swimming in the Seychelles, friggin sharks! The honeymoon ended for a British couple after Ian Redmond was attacked and killed by a 2 m shark while snorkeling 10m off Anse Lazio beach. They are calling it a “rogue” shark that has been stalking swimmers for at least a month. Rogue? I’d called it nasty assed! Two weeks ago a French diver was killed by presumably the same “nasty assed” shark. The couple had been on their finally week of their honeymoon.