Tag Archives: Sharks

Sharks on Ice

A freeze bomb in the US is so bad sharks are washing up on the beaches of New England…..frozen. Apparantly they are prone to iced up gills. Hmm, calling John West, John West to New England.

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Filed under Well I Never

All I Am Saying, Is Give Sharks A Chance

shark attackWhen I was a little kid I would sometimes go fishing. That was until one fateful day when I caught a fish and it stared back at me with horror in its eyes. I knew from that look that the fish was well aware of its fate. I removed the hook from its mouth, threw it back into the water and swore I would never go fishing again…. and I never have. OK, settled down Loons, I still eat fish, but I just refuse to go fishing. Much the same way as I love movies but refuse to watch Bambi. So, when one of my readers asked if I could write a piece on shark culling I was more than happy to oblige.

Let me start by saying that you would have to be one very unlucky ocean frolicker to die from a shark attack. Hello, on average there is around 5-10 deaths from shark attacks globally per year , seriously more people die from choking on fish bones. And anywho, of the 470 species of sharks only a few are considered gangster to humans. So I reject the argument of shark culling is to protect the public.

Lets look at some stats … It is estimated that 100 million sharks, yes 100 million, are killed by humans every year (sheez, and we complain about a few shark attacks), due to commercial and recreational fishing . When you hear all the blah, blah blah reasons for culling sharks just remember those stats because those stats are never mentioned. Why? Commercial shark fishing is a billion dollar industry!!!!Oh come on people wake up and smell your McFish burger.

Sure these ancient creatures are scarier than Freddy Kruger but hello, sharks are at the top of the food chain in the ocean, they gotta look the part. They lunch mainly on  the older, slower, sicker fish, which  keeps the ecosystem balanced and flourishing . Yep, by removing the weakest , they strengthen the ocean’s gene pools. To cull them makes the ecosystem look like Lindsay Lohan, vulnerable and unstable. Seriously people, the shark has one of the most important jobs in the sea-world, keeping everything in balance. Hmm, they haven’t been around for 420 million years for nothing!!!

Just remember , the propaganda against sharks is being lead by commercial fishing groups not by any logical scientific reasoning. So if you want to be munching on deformed two headed tuna, with a bad chest cold,  be my guest.

PSST– Please check out the  Shark Words blog


Filed under Friggin Wildlife, They Live Among Us !

Diana Nyad Are You Friggin Crazy?

Call me crazy but swimming from Florida to Cuba without a shark cage or a bottle of whiskey is sheer madness I say, madness. 62 year old Diana Nyad, the endurance swimming legend, is attempting to break the world record by swimming 103miles (166km) in shark and jellyfish infested waters. Did I happen to mention she swims at night when all the nasty creatures come out to play? So far Nyad has been stung 4 times by vicious box jellyfish despite having a specially designed sting-proof wetsuit. At one stage she was forced to do backstroke to stop them stinging her face. Fortunately during the day the jellyfish disperse but then the sharks come out to play. If all goes to plan it should take Nyad 60 hours  to complete this crazy adventure.

Psst Seriously? If I had to swim from Florida to Cuba at night, in shark and jellyfish infested waters I would have made it in 3 minutes 23 seconds.


Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Sharks Are Bogans

That's what I think of Bieber!

I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing but evidently great white sharks love AC/DC. They especially love You Shook Me All Night Long according to a tourism operator Matt Waller, who runs Adventure Bay Charter. He uses AC/DC songs to attract the sharks for his cage-diving business. Hmm, are you sure it isn’t the nice juicy tourist floating in a flimsy cage that isn’t attracting them?

Psst OK, that’s all fine and dandy but I want to know what music scares the friggin things AWAY!!!!


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

I Got A Bone To Pick With You!

Do I look like a friggin spy?

A sorry assed vulture has got himself arrested in Saudi Arabia on suspicion of being a  Mossad spy. Oh boy, the bird unfortunately was wearing a transmitter and had a leg tag with the words “Tel Aviv University” clearly marked on it. Awkward. Hmm, this latest bungle comes hot on the heels of Egypt suggesting Israel’s foreign intelligence agency was behind a series of shark attacks in the Red Sea. Yep, some conspiracy theorists believe the Mossad threw deadly sharks into the sea to scare off tourists last month.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Whoops!

When Nature Calls

Boxing Day specials

You know when god is messing with you when temperatures soar to over 104 degrees (40 Celsius) and everyone flocks to the beach only to be told to get the hell out of the water …SHARKS!!!!! Welcome to Western Australia.


Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan …

OK Loons, I stumbled across this silly friggin marmot (an enormous over sized squirrel) and a school of sharks by accident. Friggin wildlife…sheez!!!!


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife