Oh no, what are the odds that at the exact time you were having your 16th birthday party, a shower of feces rains down on you? Jacinta and 40 guests were merrily celebrating the big event in their New York backyard when they looked up into the sky and no, it’s not a bird , no it’s not Superman…..but five friggin planes. The likelihood is one of the those planes decided to dump their motherload of sh*t onto them. The father was just grateful they had finished eating the birthday cake minutes before the brown shower.
Tag Archives: shit
Two families in Ontario suspect passing airplanes have been dropping crap on their properties and by crap I mean poop. The families say that their cars and driveways where splattered with petrid smelling feces which could have only come from above….. from either a plane or a “pterodactyl”. Airport authorities say samples have been analysed and it definitely ain’t their shit.
Ewh, ewh, ewh, Rasheen Harrison, smearing poo on your pregnant ex-girlfriend’s door and setting it alight, while naked, is no way to go through life. Police said Harrison allegedly stripped naked and shat in the elevator before wiping the feces on his ex’s door and setting it alight. It is also believed he set fire to himself before shouting “I’m the devil”. Harrison was eventually found by firefighters naked in the hallway with poop still on his hands. Later, while in his cell, he continued his feces painting exploits along the walls at the 120th Precinct.
Attention people of Arizona, you might want to think twice before taking another puff on your joint. Seems smugglers may be using sewer pipes to transport marijuana from Mexico to the US. Two feces covered bales of marijuana were discovered on a rope feeding into the system following a complaint about a clogged sewer.
Psst Dear lord, have none of you smugglers heard of a plastic bags ?
Here’s something you won’t read on Wikileaks! A new study has revealed 72% of shopping cart handles have friggin fecal bacteria on them. In layman’s terms…that’s shit! Researchers believe there is more poop bacteria on the carts than in a bathrooms because no one friggin disinfects the carts. It also revealed that E Coli was on half the handles too! For goodness sakes wash your friggin hands people!
You know what I hate? When geysers of shit spew from toilets in Chanhassen. I really friggin hate that! Seems a burst water main was to blame. It sent water gushing into sewage lines, causing backups and geysers of poop to explode from toilets in 18 homes. On the bright side it was only lower level toilets which were affected so the sewage ended up mainly in people’s basements. Which is good right?
Psst I hope it was their own shit and not random people’s poop!
Oh for crying out loud Paul Kausalik, why did you do it? Kausalik was arrested on suspicion of drink driving and allegedly putting poo in his mouth and spitting it at police. Here’s how it unfolded. Kausalik failed a sobriety test and was taken to the police station where he asked to use the toilet. Next thing he returns with a mouthful of feces and “violently” spits the shit at a cop, hitting him on his face and head. That’s a lose/lose right there.
Now this is how I like my nature programs …”The Cassowary is a hideous and hateful bastard of a bird, and like most things that live in Australia, if ya piss it off, it can totally kick the shit out of you.”
A 16 year old North Hunterdon High School student is in big doodah after he caused a stink in his mid term exams. The teen allegedly asked to use the bathroom and then shat in a coffee mug with a screw on cap and returned to the classroom then removed the lid. I’d give him a few extra marks for accuracy, do you know how hard it is to poop into a mug?