Tag Archives: shit

Happy Friggin Birthday

pooOh no, what are the odds that at the exact time you were having your 16th birthday party, a  shower of  feces rains down on you? Jacinta and 40 guests were merrily celebrating the big event in their New York backyard when they looked up into the sky and no, it’s not a bird , no it’s not Superman…..but five  friggin planes. The likelihood is one of the those planes decided to dump their motherload of sh*t onto them. The father was just grateful they had finished eating the birthday cake minutes before the brown shower.

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Look. Up in the Sky. It’s …. Run

Family believe plane dropped feces on carsTwo families in Ontario suspect passing airplanes have been dropping crap on their properties and by crap I mean poop. The families say that their cars and driveways where splattered with petrid smelling feces which could have only come from above….. from either a plane or a “pterodactyl”. Airport authorities say samples have been analysed and it definitely ain’t their shit.

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Filed under Er Gross !, Friggin Gross, Whoops!

Do Not Poop on a Dead Hedgehog In Public

When a drunk Victor Ford pulled his pants down and squatted over a grass verge to take a dump, little did he know he was seen by a police officer. To make matters worse when the cop wondered over to have a word he saw that Mr Ford had shat on a dead hedgehog. Heavens to murgatroyd, no!!! When confronted Mr Ford said “When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go,”.  Hmm, that’s a outraging public decency right there!

Psst At least the hedgehog was dead and not just sleeping!

Want sauce with that?

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

That Stinks!

Ewh, ewh, ewh, Rasheen Harrison, smearing poo on your pregnant ex-girlfriend’s door and setting it alight, while naked, is no way to go through life.  Police said Harrison allegedly stripped naked and shat in the elevator before wiping the feces on his ex’s door and setting it alight. It is also believed he set fire to himself  before  shouting  “I’m the devil”. Harrison was eventually  found by firefighters naked in the hallway with poop still on his hands. Later, while in his cell, he continued his feces painting exploits along the walls at the 120th Precinct.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Smell Before You Buy

This is some good shit!

Attention people of Arizona, you might want to think twice before taking another puff on your joint. Seems smugglers may be using sewer pipes to transport marijuana from Mexico to the US. Two feces covered bales of marijuana were discovered on a rope feeding into the system following a complaint about a clogged sewer.

Psst Dear lord, have none of you smugglers heard of a plastic bags ?

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

The Things They Don’t Tell You About Shopping Carts

Here’s something you won’t read on Wikileaks!  A new study has revealed 72% of shopping cart handles have friggin  fecal bacteria on them. In layman’s terms…that’s shit! Researchers believe there is more poop bacteria on the carts than in a bathrooms because no one friggin disinfects the carts. It also revealed that E Coli was on half the handles too! For goodness sakes wash your friggin hands people!

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Scary

Shit Happens

You know what I hate? When geysers of shit spew from toilets in Chanhassen. I really friggin hate that! Seems a burst water main was to blame. It sent water gushing into sewage lines, causing backups and geysers of poop to explode from toilets in 18 homes. On the bright side it was only lower level toilets which were affected so the sewage ended up mainly in people’s basements. Which is good right?

Psst I hope it was their own shit and not random people’s poop!

Want sauce with that?

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!