Tag Archives: shoplifting

Will He Ever Learn?

Naked wheelchair bound shoplifter caughtA wheelchair bound shoplifter with mutliple arrests has done it again, but this time he was caught in the produce aisle naked with cherry tomatoes covering his privates. He was also caught concealing a half frozen  Jimmy Dean sausage sandwich (location not disclosed) . Ewh, I hope they didn’t put them back on the shelf.

Psst Seattle.

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It Takes Some Skill

I couldn’t do this without making a complete fool of myself but a man in Georgia was arrested after he stuffed a rotisserie chicken, chicken wings, a mouth guard and two toothbrushes down the front of his pants and walked out of a Walmart. Joseph Lee Stringer managed to get all the way out of the store via the garden center before getting busted. Hmm, I hope that chicken wasn’t hot.

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How Fat Were They?

Two women in Oklahoma City were so fat they were able to stash $2,600 worth of stolen goods in their fat rolls. Ailene Brown and Shmeco Thomas  were busted for shoplifting when they were spotted shoving items under their stomach fat and enormous breasts. Hmm, one even managed to conceal a pair of leather boots in her bra!!!

 

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It’s Everyone For Themselves

Run!!!!

OK here’s the thing, if you are all going to shoplift as a family at Walmart, the least you could do is take the bub with you when you get sprung. Mamma and her two older children (11 and 13) were loading their purses, diaper bag and baby stroller with stolen goods when security spotted them. The family bolted after being confronted as they left the store, leaving everything, including the 6 month old baby, in their wake. All three were eventually arrested.

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It Was Worth a Try!

Check it out!

OK here’s the thing Anthony Joseph Urga, exposing your penis and saying you have a flesh eating bacteria ain’t gonna cut it with employees of Radio Shack, damn you. After two clerks spotted Mr Urga allegedly nicking stuff, they confronted him. OK, he returned the ipods he’d stolen but when they asked to search his backpack….well, he dropped his pants, flashed his penis and threatened to expose them to a ‘flesh eating bacteria’ (as you do). When that didn’t impress them he drew a knife but by then they had already tackled him (obviously not scared of the bacteria…or an exposed penis!!!). Anywho, due to a medical condition the King County jail refused to take him so they drove him to the emergency room of the Harborview Medical Center where he promptly walked out. There is now  $50,000 warrant out for his arrest. The circle of life!

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Application Denied

Oh for crying out loud lady, it was bad enough you stole clothes from a shop after your friggin job interview, but did you have wear clothes you stole the day before too. The 40 year old woman from Ontario was in the store for a job interview. Hmm, so after handing over her resume and having a quick chat with the store manager she lifted a few items before leaving. Enter police who identified the woman thanks to her resume. Later, after sifting through security footage they spotted the woman the day before stealing clothes for the job interview. No loons, she didn’t get the friggin job!

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Is That A Beef Tongue in Your Pants or Are You…..

Oh for goodness sakes Mau Gibuma, putting a beef tongue down your pants is one thing but the rump steaks, lamb chops, lime and onions is quite another. The 51 year old was shoplifting at Woolworths in Queensland when he was caught stuffing the tongue down the front of his trousers. After he was detained the staff were shocked to find he also had three trays of rump steaks , a packet of lamb forequarter chops oh two onions and a lime concealed in his jeans. The magistrate fined the homeless Mr Gibuma $100. Hmm, like he is going to pay that!

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Thou Shall Not Steal

Reverend Steven Poole is a Roman Catholic priest and now an alleged felon after he was caught shoplifting  butter and a sofa cover from Walmart. Hmm, and then it gets a little worse. After failing to scan his items at the self-checkout it is then alleged he proceeded to the bedding section and switched a price tag on a foam mattress, making it way cheaper, before scanning it . That’s quite a lot of Hail Marys right there.

Psst Just remember Reverend Poole, thou shall not lie either.

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10 years Jail For Stealing $80 Worth of Beef

Chunk of beef, and you?

Geez, Mark Zachary must be ruing the day he nicked a side of New York strip because  he has just been sentenced to 10 years jail . Zachary hid the tenderloin beef under his shirt before  leaving the Reid’s supermarket in South Carolina and running smack into an off duty police officer. Bummer. Unfortunately his big downfall came when he told the court he was massaging the meat and not stealing it. I hope the $80 chunk of meat was worth being put away for a decade.

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Mom!!!!

Now That is a dumb ass!!!

Now That is a dumb ass!!!

Julia Laack from Sheboygan, Wisconsin, will probably regret her actions when she sobbers up. After stealing a beef jerky and a lighter from a convience store Ms Laack was visited by police. Refusing to come to the door, she began yelling at her three kids before stripping down to her undies.When the police tried to calm her down she kicked one in the balls and spat in the other ones mouth, screaming she couldn’t be arrested because she was naked. Wrong! As a last act of defiance, as she was being driven away in the squad car she whacked her naked butt up to the window and mooned.

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