Granny Isn’t Everyone’s Friend

It seems in Florida when you get denied as a Facebook friend by your grandma it is customary to go slap her face (multiple times). OK, maybe not, but someone didn’t get the memo. A woman who tried to befriend her granny got angry when her request was denied. Seems granny wasn’t impressed with her Facebook moniker and refused to accept her until it was changed. That is when the slapping began and the assault charges followed. I’m guessing Christmas is going to be awks.

Naked Man On Tarmac Anyone?

Some dude stripped naked  on the tarmac at Manchester Airport after peeing on the terminal building. Not only did he have to face the humiliation of showing off his jangly bits but he got his face slapped by his furious girlfriend before being tasered by the police. Otherwise it was a great hol.

Wide Receiver Indeed

Sheez, you played football for Cincinnati Bengals for 10 seasons, that’s $35.5 Million. You slap your lawyer on the butt during a probation violation hearing that’s 30 days jail. Priceless. Silly, silly Chad Johnson he was sooooo close to getting a good deal by the judge … then he goes and slaps his lawyer’s toosh. The female judge, who was not amused, took the deal immediately off the table and gave him jail time instead.

Crazy Just Got A Whole New Name

Say what?

Oh dear god, this is what happens when mother’s go wild. Lisa Henry Bowen got hell angry when she discovered a teacher had slapped her child Curtis during school.As a response Ms Bowen sat down and began writing a letter of demands for compensation. When she was done with her 40 page rant (yes, I said 40 pages) she not only emailed it to the school she CC’ed it to President Obama, Vice President Biden, their wives, three senators, and more than 20 other officials (like they give a shit!). In it she referred to herself as the “intellectual property owner” of her son and referred to the teacher as “one audacious white bitch with ‘balls'”,  then it just gets crazy. Among her demands was that the school give Curtis $13,500 worth of Wal-Mart gift cards, a free college education, two trips to Disney World, nine years of private tennis lessons and  a decade worth of psychological counseling by “the best black child psychologist in the country,” Oh and we still haven’t got to what SHE wants out of it. Lets just say there is no way in hell she is going to get a job with the Kansas City Missouri School district, for the next nine years as a consultant (at $15,000 a MONTH!!!!). Had enough? Hell no. Ms Bowen has also got herself  a website called Curtis Got Slapped.

Psst Hmm, I smell another friggin internet hoax. You can read the full story here.

UPDATE : Seems Ms Bowen is also a Jazz musician. Well fancy that!

Cat Slapped

The moral of the story is if you put a hat on a cute little kitty it’s going to get friggin slapped!

Granny Jailed For Slapping Granddaughter

Hmm, now lets see, who am I putting in my will now?

OK, here’s the thing 73 year old granny, slapping your granddaughter for giving you lip will get you a date with a magistrate! Theresa Collier found herself behind bars after she slapped her 18 year old granddaughter. Felicity Collier , who was forced to finish her senior year online because she told a nun at her Catholic school to “fuck off”, went to her gran’s house to finish homework on the computer. However, when Felicity began procrastinating over her homework, granny ask her to finish it but was greeted with a raging rant which included the f-word. In the end Theresa, who had had enough, slapped her across the face. Next thing she knew Felicity had rung the cops and she was being dragged off to jail.

New Age Sensitive Men Where Art Thou?

Come on Dada, hit him back ya wimp!

A dad was slapped across the back of the head at a Brooklyn Heights Starbucks by another man because his baby was being cranky and crying in the stroller. Not news but way funny. Seems man wanted dad to tend to child instead of continuing to wait in line for his “grande weak soy friggin latte with cinnamon and Chinese 5 spices” or something like that!