Tag Archives: sleeping

While You Were Sleeping

kim-jong-unA word of warning to all top officials, if you doze off during a Kim Jong Un meeting expect to be kaboomed with an anti aircraft gun. Just ask, oh wait, never mind. The head of the education ministry was spotted sleeping during a rant by the ‘glorious leader’ and promptly escorted out and executed with a high end military weapon. Nothing but the best for sleeping, lowlife, dissident, scum dog.

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Who Needs Hotels in China

sleepingEver been to an IKEA store? It’s a nightmare, right? Forced to weave through the maze of furniture displays and people… so many people. Yet the nightmare doesn’t finish there. Once you have found your perfect piece of furniture and downed a plate of Swedish meatballs its time to load the car. This is when you suddenly realise that the flatpacks are designed in a way that they are impossible to fit into a standard car by a few inches (despite all efforts to the contrary). You only have two options, unwrap your cardboard entombed item in the carpark and pray to god you don’t lose the screws and instructions or pay the additional fee (usually around the same price as your item) to have it delivered. By this stage you are already exhausted and it may take you weeks to recover before you even attempt to assemble the damn thing.

Well, it seems in china they are playing IKEA at its own game. An increasing number of vistors are using the retail store as either a pick up joint or a place to take a well deserved nap. At night time elderly customers roam the aisles looking for a pretty young thing while the rest look for a comfy showroom display to take a doze on. Yep, it is like a never ending slumber party at China IKEA and getting increasingly hard to find a place to sleep.

Check out the sleepers here.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Snooze At IKEA

Chinese IKEA allows sleeping on display bedsIKEA’s big mistake. Seems the staff at the Chinese IKEA stores have extra duties ever since management decided to allow people to sleep on their display beds. Now the poor staff have to change the sheets once a day.

Psst I wonder if they have to assemble them first?

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Filed under Well I Never

While You Were Sleeping

cow falls through roof kills manYou know what I hate? When you are fast asleep and an 11 and a half ton cow falls through your roof and kills you. I really friggin hate that. The cow had wandered down a hill and onto the roof which then gave way and landed on the man (narrowly missing his wife). Unfortunately, he died from internal injuries while waiting for treatment at the local hospital.

Psst Brazil

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

Deep Sleep

Hello!!!! Hello!!

Oh seriously folks, if you can’t wake up a relative don’t be taking him to the morgue unless you are absolutely sure he’s dead. No really people! The poor South African man eventually woke up and began screaming when he released where he was, resulting in several morgue workers running for their lives thinking he was a ghost.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Don’t Mind Her

Oh my, this shouldn’t happen in Notting Hill. A real estate agent showed prospective buyers around a £800,000 house while the owner lay dead on her sofa. Sheez, lucky no one noticed her changing color. The agent Samuel Allfort said he thought she was sleeping.

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Filed under Whoops!

Fox On The Run

Two nine month old twin girls are in a serious condition in hospital after being attacked by a fox while they were sleeping in their cots in friggin London. The babies are believed to have arm wounds after the animal crept into the house and up the stairs into their bedrooms and attacked them in  Stoke Newington. Sly aren’t they?

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Not The Best Place To Sleep It Off!

Oh for goodness sakes, how many times do I have to tell you not to sleep inside a friggin airplane engine? A drunk man has been found sleeping it off in the engine of an Indian Airlines Airbus A-320 as it was preparing to take off at the Indira Gandhi International Airport in Delhi . Luckily for the guy one of the staff noticed his leg dangling from the rear of the engine. When confronted the man told them he was really hot and decided to sleep behind the big fan.

Psst OK, is anyone like me concerned about airport security in India?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Sexsomniacs Are Self Absorbed

I gotta go, she's nearly asleep!

Sexsomniac? Never heard of it? Hmm, well evidently it is a bizarre disorder which turns women into sex addicts while they are sleeping. Oh and I don’t mean sex acts with their partners, nope, sex by themselves. Belle Floor, who is from Holland, is a spokeswoman for the disorder after having suffered from it for several years. She was totally unaware of what she was doing while she slept until her then boyfriend confronted her. They eventually split up after he didn’t believe she couldn’t remember playing with herself every night. Watch out for RSI honey!

Psst I bet she sleeps like a baby !

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

When Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Huh? What? Who's there?

Huh? What? Who's there?

Fire fighters were called to a house fire in Pittsburgh at 2.40am Sunday morning. Despite attempts to control the blaze part of the roof collapsed. About two hours later when firefighters were able to walk through the smoldering and charred ruins they found a man fast asleep in his bed, oblivious to what had happened.

Psst That wasn’t you Duncan by any chance?

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never