A word of warning to all top officials, if you doze off during a Kim Jong Un meeting expect to be kaboomed with an anti aircraft gun. Just ask, oh wait, never mind. The head of the education ministry was spotted sleeping during a rant by the ‘glorious leader’ and promptly escorted out and executed with a high end military weapon. Nothing but the best for sleeping, lowlife, dissident, scum dog.
Tag Archives: sleeping
Ever been to an IKEA store? It’s a nightmare, right? Forced to weave through the maze of furniture displays and people… so many people. Yet the nightmare doesn’t finish there. Once you have found your perfect piece of furniture and downed a plate of Swedish meatballs its time to load the car. This is when you suddenly realise that the flatpacks are designed in a way that they are impossible to fit into a standard car by a few inches (despite all efforts to the contrary). You only have two options, unwrap your cardboard entombed item in the carpark and pray to god you don’t lose the screws and instructions or pay the additional fee (usually around the same price as your item) to have it delivered. By this stage you are already exhausted and it may take you weeks to recover before you even attempt to assemble the damn thing.
Well, it seems in china they are playing IKEA at its own game. An increasing number of vistors are using the retail store as either a pick up joint or a place to take a well deserved nap. At night time elderly customers roam the aisles looking for a pretty young thing while the rest look for a comfy showroom display to take a doze on. Yep, it is like a never ending slumber party at China IKEA and getting increasingly hard to find a place to sleep.
You know what I hate? When you are fast asleep and an 11 and a half ton cow falls through your roof and kills you. I really friggin hate that. The cow had wandered down a hill and onto the roof which then gave way and landed on the man (narrowly missing his wife). Unfortunately, he died from internal injuries while waiting for treatment at the local hospital.
Oh seriously folks, if you can’t wake up a relative don’t be taking him to the morgue unless you are absolutely sure he’s dead. No really people! The poor South African man eventually woke up and began screaming when he released where he was, resulting in several morgue workers running for their lives thinking he was a ghost.
Two nine month old twin girls are in a serious condition in hospital after being attacked by a fox while they were sleeping in their cots in friggin London. The babies are believed to have arm wounds after the animal crept into the house and up the stairs into their bedrooms and attacked them in Stoke Newington. Sly aren’t they?
Fire fighters were called to a house fire in Pittsburgh at 2.40am Sunday morning. Despite attempts to control the blaze part of the roof collapsed. About two hours later when firefighters were able to walk through the smoldering and charred ruins they found a man fast asleep in his bed, oblivious to what had happened.
Psst That wasn’t you Duncan by any chance?