Tag Archives: smoking

Oxygen Tank + Cigarette = Kaboom

Word of warning loons, do be smoking while using your oxygen tank . A man in Kentucky died after he lit a cigarette and his oxygen tank exploded. His family said it wasn’t the first time his tanks had blown (three prior explosions) but add that this time it was different because it killed him.

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Filed under Whoops!

Even Electronic Smoking Can Kill

OMG, warning people, be careful when puffing on an electronic cigarette. A man has had his teeth blown out after the device’s battery exploded. The cig is suppose to simulate smoking by producing a safe vapor that has no odor or residue. The Florida man had been using the electronic cigarette for several years after he began suffering lung problems. Authorities are not sure exactly what went on but the battery went kaboom after having a puff, taking out his teeth , part of his tongue and setting his study on fire. Whatever you do don’t smoke!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Smoking Can Cause Your Nipples to Fall Off

Whoops, what just fell?

A plastic surgeon in Detroit is warning women who have breasts lifts, smoke and your nipples could fall off. Seriously!!! Evidently nicotine and carbon monixide found in smoke can work together to hinder blood flow. So in other words they could turn black and drop off. Dr Anthony Youn warns all his patients to quit or face the consequences. In one particular case he had to use leeches to save his patients tits when they began turning purple. Evidently leeches are brilliant at sucking out the old blood to increase blood flow. Hmm, there is no way I would want a leech hanging off my…ah never mind, fortunately I don’t smoke!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves!

Shouldn't this have been checked first?

OMG, remember those two sisters who were released from prison after 16 year so one could have a kidney transplant and the other could donate the kidney? Yep, them. Well anywho, seems there will be no transplant any time soon because they are both too fat and one has got to give up smoking before a doctor will even look at them. Jamie Scott has to lose 100 lbs and Gladys Scott another 60lbs plus quit smoking before they can  be tested  for compatibility. Well ladies you have a year to do it because that was the condition of release. Hmm, I can see where this is heading.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Where There Is Smoke

Shit!!!

OK, the moral of the story is never use a hole in the floor as an ashtray. Firemen raced to a house in Oregon after the dumbass residents used a hole in their floor as the community ashtray. That’s $30,000 worth of fire damage right there.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, How Embarrassing, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Monk Charged With Smoking

Smoking.....and you?

Whatever you do DON’T SMOKE in Bhutan. A Buddhist monk has become the first person to be charged with smoking, under the country’s new strict anti smoking laws. That’s five years right there monk! The weeny Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan is on a mission to make their nation smoke free, believing it to be bad karma. In 2005 the sale of tobacco was totally banned, however people are allowed to import up to 200 cigs a month as long as they smoke them in private. Unfortunately the monk was caught with 72 packets of chewing tobacco.

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I’m French, F*** You

French? Well, now you're fucked!

OK, one more time people, even if you are French you can’t smoke on a friggin airplane. Franck Lebrun was allegedly caught smoking in a toilet during a flight from Nice to New York. When a Delta Airlines flight attendant and crew member suspected Lebrun had been puffing in the loo they confronted him and told him don’t friggin do it. Later, when seen heading to the toilets again they warned him once more. In response he pushed around a  female flight attendant. Enter federal air marshals who ordered him back to his seat.  After getting more aggressive he was handcuffed and moved to the rear of the plane where he yelled at the passengers “I’m French, fuck you!”

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Honey, Can You Mow The Lawn

Oh shit!!!!

The moral of the story is never work on your lawnmower in the house. A Missouri man told firefighters he was smoking a ciggie while working on his lawnmower in a bedroom when… kaboom. The explosion sparked a fire that engulfed his home.

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Hazards of Smoking

Oh my, a wheelchair bound man with a penchant for smoking has accidentally set himself and the neighborhood  on fire.Here’s how it happened. The Florida man was smoking a ciggie in a vacant lot with lots of grass when he  thought he had extinguished it. Hmm,  apparently not, because when he threw it into the brush …kaboom…the  whole place was on fire including him and his wheelchair. When firefighters arrived the man was nowhere in sight but was later found severely burned in his wheelchair.

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Getting a Morning Glory Jump Start

OK, here’s the thing mister, having a solo sex romp on a trampoline early in the morning is fine, but just make sure  no one is watching! James Burden from Westquarter, Scotland, decided it would be fun to get naked and masturbate on a trampoline, unfortunately he wasn’t expecting any on lookers. The woman told the court she saw Mr Burden from her window stark naked with a cigarette in one hand and his genitals in the other. Now there’s multi-tasking for ya!  Mr Burden pleaded guilty  to publicly exposing his person in a shameless and indecent manner.

Psst Pity the kid who used the trampoline next! Tad slippery!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!