Tag Archives: smuggle

The Anxiety Just Got A Whole Lot Bigger

It was a simple plan. Camouflage yourself and your sled in winter white and drag your 200lb of illegal Xanax through the snow and across the Canadian border into Vermont. The French Canadian nearly pulled off the smuggle but he made one fatal mistake. He followed the railway line and tripped the sensors. Now he will be spending a few years behind bars and a whopping fine. Hmm, might need a Xanax or two now.

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Did Jamaica?

COCAINE_CROTCHOK, obviously the Jamaican man didn’t get the memo. Stuffing a pound of cocaine in your undies and trying to sneak past JFK customs isn’t worth the grief. Now you got yourself a federal narcotics smuggling charge and an embarrassing photo of your stupidity all for about $19,000 worth of cocaine. Silly billy.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass

Monkey Business

Is that a monkey in your underwear or are you just happy to see me? A man was arrested at an Indian airport after he was caught trying to smuggle a 7-inch-long loris monkey in his undies . The poor endangered species was heading to Dubai . I hate to think what would have kept the poor thing amused during the trip šŸ˜Æ

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Daddy Dearest

Regrets, he had a few!

OK, here’s the thing Donald Curtis Denney, plotting to smuggle a chunk of black tar heroin to your son in prison was never going to work, especially after the two of you discussed it over friggin monitored telephones for two months. OK Loons, you may upchuck a little after you hear what the two schemed, so be warned. Denney was going to shove the golf sized black tar heroin up his butt and then he was going to pass it to his son (the hard hat bandit) via a mouth to mouth kiss during a visit (nasty). Fortunately he was arrested at the Colorado prison before the tonguey.

Psst Damn! I would have made him exchange the heroin beforeĀ  arresting him.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Has Anyone Seen Grandpa?

Plead insanity ya dumbass!!

Holy smokes grandpa, don’t ya know attempting to smuggle marijuana into prison is a felony? Hmm, guess not! Poor old 85 year old Richard Heritz is facing 7 years jail for attempting to smuggle 20 grams of pot into an Ohio prison for his grandson Gregory Heritz, who is currently serving two years. Hmm, oh well, you can always look on the bright side, he’ll get to see his grandson way more now!

19 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!