Tag Archives: somali pirates

Those Lucky Somali Pirates

Somali pirates hijack a tanker carrying lubricating oil and 18 Filipinos. Hmm, won’t they be in for a good time…I’m just saying!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Now If You Were Real Pirates!

Trust the Russians to know how to deal with those friggin pesky Somali pirates. Just take away all their weapons and navigation equipment and set them adrift  in their boat … 550km from shore. The 10 pirates who were captured last week, after they tried to seize a Russian oil tanker, are now presumed dead after they failed to make it back ashore. Originally it was thought the Russians would bring them back to dry land so they could face charges, but nah, this seemed like a better option.

Psst Rumor has it they weren’t really set adrift but more likely bumped off during the incident.But we won’t tell, will we?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Easy Mistake

Somali pirates failA group of Somali pirates thought they were so, so smart opening fire on a harmless cargo vessel, until they realized it was a French navy ship! Well, that is five less pirates to worry about!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Im Gonna Get Me A Pirate

Well, hello ladies!

Well, hello ladies!

Make way for the new pseudo rich, the CUPs (cashed up Pirates) are in port. Seems the hottest catch in town is a successful Somali pirate. Eligible (and I assume some that aren’t) Somali women are flocking to the port town of  Basaso in the hope of snaring themselves a rich hubby. A Somali pirate is a perfect catch, job only keeps him away a short time and he is guaranteed to bring home the bacon $US, thanks to ransom paying white dudes.My goodness, it is like an Aladdin’s cave out there. Grab your buddies, some rubber dinghies, a few high powered weapons, put on a scrowly face and find yourself a super tanker. The rest is basically negotiation, so pick a good team leader. And think girls, if you play your cards right you’ll have your very own pirate just like Keira Knightley!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, You Go Girl!

Bummer Day For Somali Pirates

Somali Pirates mistake a NATO vessel for a merchant shipWhen you are Somali pirates it isn’t smart to try and attack a NATO ship. The pirates apparently mistook the FGS Spessart for a commercial merchant ship and tried to attack the naval vessel.Whoops wrong boat…run for it boys. Poor fools were then pursued by three ships, a frigate, a helicopter and a plane. Geez those seven pirates must have been cursing the day. Hmm, talk about taking this piracy seriously, isn’t that like one warcraft for each pirate? It was reported when they finally boarded the pirate ship they seized “several” weapons. Hmm is that like two or three? Bless, a NATO spokesman said: “Poor judgment by the pirates turned out to be a real opportunity for seven nations representing three task forces to work together and strike a momentous blow for maritime safety and security.” I think I would have dropped “momentous”.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Whoops!