Tag Archives: st nick

Father Christmas Is Dead and Buried in Kilkenny

Rudolph, I can explain everything!

WTF, Santa is dead? Experts are claiming the body (that’s right, body) of St Nicholas is buried at Jerpoint Abbey in County Kilkenny. Geez, so who the hell is living at the North pole then? Evidently the whole Father Christmas thingy was inspired by St Nicholas of Myra, who was one very generous dude who lived in Turkey over 800 hundred years ago (So is that why we have Turkey for Chrissy? ). St Nick built his reputation around leaving anonymous gifts for the poor, thus his metamorphous to Father Christmas (who Coca Cola metamorphosed into Santa). Confusion over his where abouts after his death have led historians to believe his remains were buried in Turkey, Italy and now Ireland. So if this is true, what are you going to tell your little snowflakes now?

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Access Denied to Santa

Well you're off my list, bastards!

Santa not welcome in an asylum centre. Hmm, well are the kids Christians? Evidently Rev Canon James Rosenthal, who was dressed in a Santa suit, was turned away from the Yarl’s Wood immigration removal centre in Bedfordshire because he posed a security threat. Unless those gifts were ticking I am thinking Santa was a sure bet. And come on people, St Nick is the patron saint of children and the imprisoned for goodness sakes! Anywho Santa 0, asylum kids 0. Peace on earth and goodwill to men 0.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never