Starbuck humour fail

When a Starbucks employee wrote a little quip on a customer’s receipt it kinda went down like a cup of cold sick. Seems diabetic jokes are a no no. Which just makes me think I would SO go to a cafe where the receipts had weird inappropriate messages. Yep, and call it Tea Bagged.

 

Can You Smell Something?

Um, you might want to bring along some disinfectant the next time you plonk yourself down at a Starbucks in Denver. A couple who couldn’t find a changing table in the restroom, changed their one year old’s dirty diaper at their table. Oh lord, hold the double mocha. When a staff member told them to make sure the seat was wiped when they were done in a “demeaning” tone, the hubby poured coffee on the floor in response. Yes, police were called, no, no one was arrested. Hmm, I suppose they should be grateful the kid was wearing a diaper. If it was a New York Starbucks, well …..

Caffeine is the New Nicotine

Wait, I’m coming!!!

Hell have no fury like New Yorkers unable to get their daily fix of Starbucks. Seems when news traveled along the social media super info highway that a Starbucks was still open near Times Square during Hurricane Sandy, it was a no brainer….Honey, pack up the kids we are going in for a double mocha hazelnut skinny frappe latte, storm or no storm. Yep, people in their droves risked strong winds, pouring rain and the occasional flying object to get their caffeine fix, despite having to wait up to half an hour just to get served. That’s probably why the city never friggin sleeps!!!!!

Starbucks Fail

Kiss my Blarney ass!!!

Um, that’s awkward Starbucks. When the coffee giant tweeted to its followers “show us what makes you proud to be British.”, for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, it might have been a good idea not to include the 2,000 followers from the Republic of Ireland. I’m just saying! So far Starbucks have tweeted two apologies.

Insecto Frappe Anyone?

High probability this ain't a cochineal bug but you get my drift!

If you were wondering what makes your Starbucks Strawberry Frappuccino venti, grande or tall a pinky color, wonder no more. That will be from all the crushed bugs they use instead of artificial coloring. That’s right folks, Starbucks are using crushed insects, otherwise known as the cochineal bug, to make those pretty little colored drinks. Bon appetite.

Psst Oh and for your info, cochineal is hell healthier than the artificial crap food companies use. Hmm, here’s a thought , how’s about using real strawberry extract? Just putting it out there, people!

Starbucks And The Sound Of One Hand Clapping

Oh for crying out loud Mister PeePee, masturbating in every New York City Starbucks is no way to go through life. The mystery man has been tweeting his progress is ranking every Starbuck toilet in the city by “boners”! The bathrooms lose points if they are unclean or he gets interrupted. I hope Mister PeePee  doesn’t get calluses , there are 298 Starbucks in the Big Apple.

Psst I checked his Twitter account he only has 60 followers!!!

Hells Angels Fight Over Coffee

A fight over which motorcycle gang was allowed to hang out at an LA Starbucks has lead to the worse biker turf war in years, leaving several men dead.It all started last year when the Hells Angels and rivals the Vagos rumbled over who would be sipping their pumpkin spice lattes at a “premium” downtown Starbucks. The tiff later developed into murder and mayhem across three states leaving several bikies dead, wounded or missing. Police fear this will end up as a full milk mocha frappe melee. Hmm, maybe they should all have some decaf?

Psst In my day, real motorcycle gangs hung out at pubs not friggin  franchised coffee shops, gosh!

You Can Make The Short Blacks and Expressos!

Oh boy, the US government is suing Starbucks Coffee company for firing a dwarf. Yep, seems an El Paso store violated the federal law by refusing to supply the short barista with a stool or step ladder so she could reach the coffee machines. The employee, who had been training for three days, had asked for a stool so she could do her job but her request was denied and instead she was fired. Starbucks claim the reason for her dismissal was because she could be a danger to customers and workers. Sheez, give me a break,  haven’t they seen the Roloff’s in action?

Bagel Rage At Starbucks

Did I miss a full moon or something? An English professor was escorted out of a Manhattan Starbucks by three cops after she refused to answer one simple question. Would you like cheese or butter on your toasted multigrain bagel?  The barista became so frustrated when Lynne Rosenthal refused to answer the question he refused to place her order. Professor Rosenthal responded by shouting ‘I want my multigrain bagel!’ The standoff ended when the manager called the cops. Apparently this isn’t the first time Ms “stickler for correct English” has made trouble at Starbucks. Her previous antic involved the refusal to order a “tall” or “venti” instead insisting n ordering a “small” or large” cup.

Psst Get over yourself lady, answer the friggin question or go somewhere else.

Starbucks Meltdown

I don’t know loons, me thinks this dude should step away from the coffee, he’s got all the adrenalin rush he needs…