Tag Archives: steal

Kill Joy Fox Ruins Easter

Take note amateurs, if you are going to hide your candy filled plastic eggs around the yard at night for an Easter egg hunt, please notify your local sweet toothed fox. He obviously didn’t get the MEMO but sends many thanks to the Virginia family for the 30 tasty eggs.

PS Why am I singing Fox on with the runs?

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Oh Beehave

As much as I would love this to be true, Donald J Trump did not and, I repeat,  did not steal his inauguration speech from Barry B Benson. Dam it!

trump-bee-movie

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Steal On Wheels

A British thief came up with a unique way to shoplift …pretend to be in a wheelchair. Unfortunately, she didn’t count on CCTV footage filming her miraculously getting up from her chair and stuffing items up her coat. Despite the footage she and her accomplice rolled out of the Marks and Spencers food store.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Job Application Fail

criminalOK, one more time anyone looking for work, please don’t steal from the tip jar when applying for a job, even if it is only 15 bucks, because you’ll end up with a $500 fine and a whole lotta trust issues.

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Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Busted Cinderfella

Thief leaves his slippers behindOh for crying out loud mister , if you are going to steal 4.2 gallons of honey, don’t be leaving your friggin slippers at the scene. Sheez, of course the police dog is gonna sniff you out. Didn’t help that you live in the same apartment building, now did it?  Hmm, now it’s gonna be a bit awkward in the elevator!!!!

Psst Russia

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

My Keyboard is a Wonderland

Woohoo, thank you burglars!!!

OK, here’s the thing, if you continue to play your Yamaha 250 keyboard  “like a cathedral” for your “own personal enjoyment,” expect it to be stolen by some “skinny white males,” one of whom was possibly missing teeth. The victim told police he believes the thieves probably targeted the keyboard because they got sick of hearing him play it. The only other thing taken was a Seiko watch.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Couple Steal Cop Car For A Quickie

Oh for the love of sex, stealing a police car for a quickie is going to get you a grand theft auto charge. Alexander Pratt and Clara Pearson were at a Florida convenience store when they noticed a Honda Civic left running by plainclothes detectives, so they hopped in and took off hoping to have sex in it. Unfortunately the randy pair were pulled over a short time later. Hmm, how frustrating!!!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!