Take note amateurs, if you are going to hide your candy filled plastic eggs around the yard at night for an Easter egg hunt, please notify your local sweet toothed fox. He obviously didn’t get the MEMO but sends many thanks to the Virginia family for the 30 tasty eggs.
PS Why am I singing Fox
on with the runs?
As much as I would love this to be true, Donald J Trump did not and, I repeat, did not steal his inauguration speech from Barry B Benson. Dam it!
A British thief came up with a unique way to shoplift …pretend to be in a wheelchair. Unfortunately, she didn’t count on CCTV footage filming her miraculously getting up from her chair and stuffing items up her coat. Despite the footage she and her accomplice rolled out of the Marks and Spencers food store.
OK, one more time anyone looking for work, please don’t steal from the tip jar when applying for a job, even if it is only 15 bucks, because you’ll end up with a $500 fine and a whole lotta trust issues.
Oh for crying out loud mister , if you are going to steal 4.2 gallons of honey, don’t be leaving your friggin slippers at the scene. Sheez, of course the police dog is gonna sniff you out. Didn’t help that you live in the same apartment building, now did it? Hmm, now it’s gonna be a bit awkward in the elevator!!!!
Woohoo, thank you burglars!!!
OK, here’s the thing, if you continue to play your Yamaha 250 keyboard “like a cathedral” for your “own personal enjoyment,” expect it to be stolen by some “skinny white males,” one of whom was possibly missing teeth. The victim told police he believes the thieves probably targeted the keyboard because they got sick of hearing him play it. The only other thing taken was a Seiko watch.
Oh for the love of sex, stealing a police car for a quickie is going to get you a grand theft auto charge. Alexander Pratt and Clara Pearson were at a Florida convenience store when they noticed a Honda Civic left running by plainclothes detectives, so they hopped in and took off hoping to have sex in it. Unfortunately the randy pair were pulled over a short time later. Hmm, how frustrating!!!
Seriously, if you are going to steal an air conditioner, hot water heater , refrigerator and fan from some poor dude, don’t be going back the next day and stealing his friggin holiday parade float for goodness sakes, that’s just damn greedy. The trailer was about to be used for a holiday parade by the Circle of Friends Ministry. Anthony Wyatt from Florida told police he was selling the items for scrap.
Psst How did he steal a float and not be seen?
The first rule of stealing, don’t jokingly tell a woman you are going to break into her house and steal her TV, then actually do it! Seems you instantly become the go-to man for police! Authorities are still investigating
Want sauce with that?