Tag Archives: stealing

Grand Opening Fail

OK, here’s the thing lady, if you are going to attempt to steal $200 worth of items by stuffing them down your clothes, can you make sure it’s not during the grand opening of the friggin store, especially when the Hoquiam Chief of police and McGruff the crime dog are in attendance. Gosh!

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Filed under Sore Loser, Whoops!

The Great Toilet Paper Theft Of Germany

A German politician has been left red faced after he was caught knicking rolls of toilet paper from the Mens in the town hall. Janitors set up a sting operation after more than 200 rolls vanished and  Frank-Michael John walked straight into the trap. John, a member of the far left Die Linke party, was caught with a roll in his hand and one in his backpack. Hmm, hello, it just goes to prove politicians are full of sh*t.

Psst Who has a friggin sting operation over toilet paper?

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Too Easy

There are two things wrong with this story a) why the hell would anyone have a picture of themselves on a t-shirt and b) who would leave it at the scene of a crime? Hmm, ask the dude from North Carolina, who allegedly, as he fled the scene of a break-in, accidentally dropped a tee, with his face on it, from his getaway car. Seriously mister, you suck at this.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never, Whoops!

Channel 7 Just Got Owned

Oh dear Channel 7, you just got a bitch slapping by rival Channel 9. Now we know why the friggin annoying watermarks, which by the way was funny/inappropriate during the floods!!!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Cat Burglar

Dusty the house cat has a little secret …

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

They Should Make The Doors Wider

You know what I hate? When you attempt to rob a store of electronic goods and your damn friggin motorized buggy gets stuck in the door. I really friggin hate that. Jerrie Perkins, a 400lb Michigan woman, set off the door alarm as she allegedly tried to make a run roll for it and  was then confronted by an employee. During the ensuing verbal, police were called and she ended up getting tasered for her troubles.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Application Denied

Oh for crying out loud lady, it was bad enough you stole clothes from a shop after your friggin job interview, but did you have wear clothes you stole the day before too. The 40 year old woman from Ontario was in the store for a job interview. Hmm, so after handing over her resume and having a quick chat with the store manager she lifted a few items before leaving. Enter police who identified the woman thanks to her resume. Later, after sifting through security footage they spotted the woman the day before stealing clothes for the job interview. No loons, she didn’t get the friggin job!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never, Whoops!

Primal Fear

Sheez, a small village near Mumbai in India is virtually under siege by an evil gang who like nothing better than injuring old ladies and stealing mobile phones. One elderly woman broke her hand when a gang member pushed her over trying to steal her religious offering and another fractured her leg after one broke in via her window.Authorities say there is nothing they can do, they are friggin monkeys. Yes, it’s a gang of monkeys running amok.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

I’m Just Saying

Oh crap, a woman from Maryville has been accused of stealing 500 rolls of toilet paper from the Blount Memorial hospital. Hell, no, we don’t want them back, just pay us the $213.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

It’s Criminal!

Simply brilliant, the Sentencing Advisory Panel in the UK has asked judges and magistrates NOT to give prison sentences to “ordinary” burglars unless they cause damage or hurt someone. Nanny State, Nanny State. Hello, if it wasn’t for petty thieves Australia wouldn’t be the country it is today! This comes after reports reveal that burglaries have increased 1% from the previous year. It sends a nice clear message to anyone thinking about taking up the thieving occupation, it’s OK as long as you don’t hurt anyone. Hmm, they might as well not make it a crime to steal. Welcome to anarchy!

Psst Hmm, if this is the new guidelines, maybe they should make it legal for the VICTIM to dish out their own form of punishment if they catch the shits stealing their possessions!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wrong, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never