Tag Archives: stealing

Three Strikes

Shredded cheese, and you?

Three strikes and you are out mister. Robert Ferguson will be spending the next 7 years and 8 months in prison thanks to a bag of shredded cheese he hid down his pants and a woman’s wallet he nicked off a 7-eleven counter. He should be grateful he got that, prosecutors were going for life! The dude had a string of priors.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Life of Crime

I do my time like a lady

Doris Thompson (aka Doris Ganble) loves to steal despite the fact she is 80 years of age. Her life of crime started in 1955 and ever since she has been a regular in front of LA courts. Ms Thompson goes under 27 aliases and her break-ins of choice are medical offices because she believes “doctors are cheats”. In her latest exploit the judge sentenced her to three years jail to which she replied “I do my time like a lady,”

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

Oh boy, you know you aren’t having a good shoplift when you get busted and a chocolate milk falls out of  your pants as you get into the cop car. The female shoplifter was wandering through a Publix store when she was spotted nicking cosmetic. Police were called and the usual crying and yelling of profanities ensued before the woman was carted off. When she went to sit in the back of the police car a bottle of Nesquik milk fell out of her pants. But wait,  there’s more, she also had a bottle of Publix chocolate milk in them too. Memorable.

Psst Here’s hoping they didn’t put them back on the shelf!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Not Enough Gas In The Tank Boys

OK, here’s the thing dudes, when siphoning gas from an underground tank make sure there is enough fresh air so you don’t pass out from the fumes. Introducing Robert Jeter, Jarad Desanti and George Brabakos  the three bright sparks who attempted to steal gasoline from a Circle K’s underground tank in Phoenix. You gotta give the men points for trying, they rebuilt their van like a friggin tanker, complete with false floor, pumping equipment and a 450 gallon tank , then parked over the top of the tank and popped the hood up to give the impression they had broken down. Unfortunately/ fortunately the tank they were stealing from was rigged with alarms and it wasn’t long before the police were called to investigate. There they found Jeter passed out inside the van and the other two clowns standing outside. I guess we should be grateful nobody smoked…kaboom!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Thou Shall Not Steal

Reverend Steven Poole is a Roman Catholic priest and now an alleged felon after he was caught shoplifting  butter and a sofa cover from Walmart. Hmm, and then it gets a little worse. After failing to scan his items at the self-checkout it is then alleged he proceeded to the bedding section and switched a price tag on a foam mattress, making it way cheaper, before scanning it . That’s quite a lot of Hail Marys right there.

Psst Just remember Reverend Poole, thou shall not lie either.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

It’s Only a Game

A British hacker is in really big trouble after stealing RuneScape players identities, skills, weapons and virtual money. Haven’t heard of it? Well, it’s a medieval fantasy game and it has over 100million players worldwide, so you should!. The 23 year old stole hundreds of distraught teenager’s identities and accounts so he could boost his own personal rankings (bastard!). Evidently it can take years to earn virtual money and skills with some RuneScape accounts selling for up to £46,000 on eBay. God knows what they are going sentence him to… virtual theft? The game is friggin free!

Psst Geez, if I could only hack into Super Mario 64 and pass level 4 !

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Things To Do In Arizona Without Your Luggage

Couple caught with a 1000 peices of stolen airport luggage

Wait till the victims get hold of you!

Ever wondered where your luggage ends up when it goes missing? Odds are at Keith Wilson King and Stacy Lynne Legg-King’s place. Cheeky little buggers have been nicking people’s bags off the carousels at Phoenix Sky Harbour International Airport for quite some time. When police raided their house they unearthed over 1,000 pieces of luggage. God knows how many more items they had stolen because they were flogging them at garage sales. Mr King had been under surveillance after authorities witnessed him lifting a bag off the baggage claim carousel and then return a few hours later  to steal another one.

Psst See, it pays to pack your bags with stinky socks and undies!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wrong, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

If She Only Used Her Skill For The Good of Mankind

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Here is a party trick from hell. A woman in Louisiana has been arrested after she was caught stealing a 12 pack of beer by hiding it between her legs! Lisa Newsome was seen on a security camera shoving the Miller Lite and a couple of sodas up her dress in a grocery store before attempting to waddle out with it. Ah bless, Ms Newsome is well known to police with over 40 arrests under her dress belt.

Psst Hmm, you might want to think twice before accepting a drink from her!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Sore Loser, Well I Never, You Go Girl!