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Christmas Cracker!

At least now you know what to get him for Christmas

Bear with me people, this story is a tad complicated. Brett Aaron Sanford was arrested after he was found hiding under a mattress in the home he shares with his girlfriend and his mother (just setting the scene). Sanford is accused of a lot of things, firstly stealing a blow-up doll and then secondly for instigating a disturbance at a convenience store later in the day. In the convenience store incident he changed into a woman’s tracksuit while stealing a .22-caliber pistol (yes, see, I told you). He then went back to the Theater X Adult Super Center where he had stolen the blow-up doll and waved the gun around and behaved rather oddly. While he was making his getaway he managed to sideswipe a trailer and fled into a wooded area (geez, lucky he stole those woman’s trackie daks).That’s when police found the blow-up doll and his driver’s license. Sanford’s girlfriend was also arrested for goddam lying to police about his whereabouts. No word on whether his mom was home at the time.

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