Dingoes Are Gangsta

A dingo stole my handbag

After the bad rap dingoes got for taking babies, they have know refocused and are stealing handbags instead. A British woman was minding her own beeswax on a beach in NSW when a dingo sided up to her and grabbed her handbag before running off into the bush. His haul netted him thousands of dollars worth of jewellery and cash. Local rangers later shot the dingo dead but not before he had managed to hide his stash. Seems he was notorious for stealing personal property from caravan parks in the area. Good luck with your insurance claim lady.

Worst Father EVER

A man has been arrested after he broke into his ex’s mobile home and stole electronics, jewelry and his kid’s  Christmas presents. Seems he was determined because he crawled under the home and dug a hole through the floor. Merry friggin Christmas. His ex spied  him running from her home with the sack of goodies and rang the cops.

Big Night Ahead

I'm guessing?

Oh dear, what would inspire a woman to waltz  into a Walgreens and shoplift 26 boxes of condoms, an ovulation test and a box of  Huggies baby wipes? Hmm, might want to ask Alexandrea Brooks who now has a warrant out for her arrest. After Brooks filled her basket she allegedly simply  marched out of the store with her $562.68 worth of goodies and drove off. Unfortunately for her someone wrote down her rego.

Dirty Rat

A pet rat in the UK set his friggin cage on fire after he nicked a smoldering cigarette from his owner’s ashtray and took it to bed. The rat called No Name has a habit of stealing things and putting it in his cage, which probably accounts for all the empty beer cans and litter he has accumulated. Luckily the fire only caused minor damage to the house but the owner, Nelly Banks,says No Name will be in the doghouse for some time.

Britain’s Dumbest Crim

No seriously Jason Williams, you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Mr Williams was arrested and jailed after he stole his next door neighbors curtains and then hung them up in his own window.

It Was Worth A Try

Huh, what ticket?

OMG, when 72 year old Milledge McCassell went to a deli in Queens to check his lottery ticket on the electric scanner he discovered he was a “Big Winner!”. All excited he handed over his ticket to the store worker to see how much he had won and that’s when everything got a little ugly. The worker told him he had won Jack and refused to give back the ticket.Poor old Milledge left but returned soon after demanding his ticket back. Now the worker had told him he had lost the ticket. Three friggin times the elderly man came back demanding his ticket before ringing police. Damn good thing he did because the bastard was going to claim the $14 million for himself. Yes, 14 friggin million.

Don’t Friggin Mess With The Pharmacists Dude

Sorry for laughing dumbass but those bottles of hydrocodone you stole from the Edmont Pharmacy were filled with M&Ms.  After having being burgled on numerous occasions the pharmacist decided to have some sweet revenge and filled the pill bottles with candy. Suck on those placebos!

Multi Tasking Sumo

If you really suck at being a Sumo you could always use your skills for evil. I will ignore the obvious question of WTF was a sumo doing in Moscow, but evidently the big guy ripped a cash machine out of a store and walked off with it on his shoulders. The 90kg cash machine contained 25,000 roubles which is about 12 cents….kidding $926. Being big and fat has it’s disadvantages, like being friggin slow …  the Sumo and his mate got caught trying to get their fat asses into the BMW getaway car.

Man Takes Ambulance on Joyride

OK drunk man, next time you decided to steal an ambulance from the Wisconsin ski area can you make sure it doesn’t include a patient and paramedics. The incident happened when an ambulance was called to  tend an injured skier at the Tyrol Basin Ski and Snowboard Area. While treating the patient  in the back of the vehicle an Illinois man jumped in the drivers seat and began driving it around the parking lot with the emergency brake still on. No word on how they got him to stop.

Psst Well at least he didn’t put the siren on!

The Usual Suspect

Don't go friggin near him!

WTF Houston? A Texas Department of Criminal Justice inmate, being transported between jails, has managed to pull out a gun, hijack the van, steal one of the officer’s gray correctional uniforms and black boots and escape with four guns, including a 12 gauge shotgun while in a wheelchair…tada! Yes, Arcade Joseph Comeaux, who was shackled during the transportation had been using a wheelchair for 10 years. Described as black, 6 feet tall and 200 pounds, Comeaux is believed to have simply walked off after overpowering the two officers, leaving the wheelchair in his wake. Hmm, so very Keyser Söze. Comeaux is serving a life sentence for child molesting and a string of aggravated sexual assault charges. He had additional time added to is sentence after he stabbed his wife multiple times with a metal object during a prison visit in 1999 while confined to his wheelchair.

Psst Do you think he used his wheelchair as a crutch?