Tag Archives: stench

Stench Identified

Goat manure blamed for Vermont stinkYou know what I hate? When a pile of goat poo spontaneously combusts and ponks up a town in Vermont. Welcome to Windsor …OMG,  what the hell is that?

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Whoops!

What Is That Smell?

Oh the dilemma, if you were a bus driver and a baby pooped in his diaper sending a stench throughout the bus, would you a) kick the mother and the smelly snowflake off the bus b) ask everyone to open the windows or c) hold your breath?  Well, to avoid being featured in a news story I wouldn’t pick a) for starters. Seems the woman, who was 4 months pregnant, was taking her sick child to the doctors when the pooping began.  This inevitably lead to the female driver , who could take no more, saying ‘your baby … smells really bad. And it’s not fair that we all have to smell that.’ before kicking her off. The woman then had to traipse a mile and a half  on foot with the sick bub to the doctors. Lucky doctor. Needless to say mother is pissed.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Problem Solved

How bad does a Honolulu homesless woman stink? Enough to move a whole friggin bus stop so drivers and passengers can avoid the stench. The elderly woman has been living in the concrete bus shelter for the past year and sometimes the stench is so bad it wafts into the bus when the doors open. As a response the bus company have moved the stop 60m down the road so she can smell in peace.

Psst Hmm, here’s a thought, instead of moving the bus stop, how’s about finding a better location for the woman, like say a homeless shelter or mental facility?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing

Confessions of a Friggin Loon

OMG Loons, I’ve done something real bad. No seriously, so bad, I fear the neighborhood maybe organizing a posse to hang me from the nearest tree. For those of you who don’t know, it’s spring here in this here parts and for several months I have been mixing a concoction of sheep shit, chicken shit, duck shit, grass clippings , rotting fruit and seven secret herbs and spices in an old bath in the back yard . About a month ago, when the bath was full, I tent pegged a tarpaulin over it to let it fester away. Anywho, today was the day I removed the cover and much to my horror I unleashed the most ungodliest stench you could ever imagine. Enough to make even the devil wince.Despite this, I shoveled the crap into a wheelbarrow and proceeded to fertilize my fruit trees (upchucking a little as I went). Silly me thought the stench would subside but all it did was become airborne and hover in a thick cloud over my street. Realizing the errors of my ways I thought I would disappear for a while (to get some fresh air) but no matter how far I drove I could still smell it. Dear god! I checked my shoes, hands , clothes  and not a sign , maybe it was just in my imagination. Anywho, I’ve  just arrived home to my shithole (literally) and have just written this post with a peg on my nose.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

At Least You Can Fart In Peace!

OMG people, do you think a truck spraying a nice citrus scent over stinky poo landfill is gonna stop the residents complaining? I don’t think so. Residents of East Brunswick who have been putting up with methane gas stench for years are now getting whiffs of deodorizer amongst the pong.Yes, owners of the 200acre dump are using a truck to spray ” a pleasant, showery smell” over the filthy rotten garbage in an attempt to appease the poor bastards that have to live with it. Despite their efforts locals are still not happy. One claimed  “You can’t open a window. At times it will permeate the walls.”

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Quick He’s Coming Everyone Evacuate

Oh for the love of god!

When people stop coming to a library because one person stinks to high heaven, you really have no choice but to sit down with that person and ask him…WTF man! This is what happened to Stuart Penmen. He stunk so much library officials in Leicestershire had no choice but to ban him from the building for 6 months as people refused to come back. Mr Penmen’s body odor was so putrid he had forced gasping readers to flee the library in search of fresh air. Despite staff sitting down with him to discuss his hygiene habits it just didn’t improve. The main source of stench seemed to be coming from his feet!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Apartment Looked Like Landfill

I told you Hector it was too good to be true!

I told you Hector it was too good to be true!

Oh dear, when firefighters in Queens busted down Ming Li Sung’s door they were expecting to find a dead body but instead they found ceiling high piles of rotting garbage and a not so friendly Mr Sung. One cop described the apartment as looking like landfill. Some of the policemen were even throwing up because the stench was so bad. Cockroaches were seen exiting the apartment in droves after firefighters and police attempted to clear some of the mess. It is now understood one unfortunate neighbor was forced to flee his apartment because the smell was so gross and another was on a waiting list to be relocated. Evidently this problem had been going on for several years but the city Housing Authority had been ignoring complaints. Mr Sung was taken away for psychiatric evaluation! No word on whether the garbage was taken away too!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, They Live Among Us !