Some dudes were arrested for stealing thousands of dollars worth of Crest tooth-whitening strips… and no, they weren’t the Osmond’s kids. The guys were stealing the strips from mostly Target and Wal Mart stores with the intent of sell them on the black market to people with stained teeth. With that line of thinking why not just go get a job?
PSST It is going to be awfully embarrassing when the inmates ask them what they are in for …just saying.
Stop looking people the bridge has been found. Yep, the 2.5 ton wood and steel bridge that kapoofed from a property in Detroit has been found, I repeat, has been found. The structure was discovered some 30 miles away. Police still have no idea who stole it or why. Oh well, the owner will just have to get over it.
Attention good people of Virginia please be on the look out for 10 containers of bull semen. Evidently, they were stolen from a farm and if they thaw out they will be friggin useless.
Locals were able to track down their missing Penisville road sign thanks to the couple who posted photos on Facebook posing next to it during their wedding. Evidently the sign gets stolen a lot.
A bike rider who rode into the passenger side of a Mercedes as it stopped at an intersection on New Year’s Day responded by bashing the driver and taking off with the luxury convertible. Witnesses said they saw the cyclist and bike fly over the bonnet and straight under the car. The cyclist then yelled to “reverse up” and when the driver got out to see if he was OK the rider went all commando on him, punching him repeatedly in the face before jumping behind the wheel and taking off. To add salt into the wound , the Merc wasn’t his, he had borrowed it from a friend.Oh and did I forget to mention the bike was stolen. Happy 2014.
Stop looking everybody the missing Klement’s racing Italian Sausage costume has been found. Thank goodness. The 7ft costume called Guido, which features in the Milwaukee Brewers baseball games, was last seen on Feb 16th. The Italian sausage walked out of a fundraiser at the Milwaukee Curling club then made an unexpected appearance at TJ Ryan’s bar in Cedarburg before heading to The Roadhouse Bar and Grill around midnight. That’s where the lead went cold. However last Wednesday two mysterious men plopped the sausage costume up on a bar stool at the Roadhouse Bar and Grill telling the bartender “You did not see anything,” and promptly skedaddled.
OMG,OMG, OMG, you silly, silly, dumbass car thief. A guy who stole a brand new red Chevrolet Corvette in 1989 has handed himself into police because it just got too expensive to hide it. Seems over the past two decades the damn car has cost him $70,000 in storage fees. When the San Diego police retrieved the Corvette it only had 67 miles on the clock and still smelled like a new car. Here’s the double dumbass bonus, the car was later sold on eBay for $39,741.
Psst The dude was an Irish immigrant .
Want sauce with that?