Tag Archives: stomach

Woman Swallows Toothbrush

Oi, oi, oi!!!

OMG, a woman in Israel has  somehow managed to swallow her toothbrush. Bat-El Panker (24) was brushing her teeth when she bent over the tap with her toothbrush in her mouth and viola, down her throat (so much for gravity). After several attempts at trying to retrieve it she gave up and rushed herself to the hospital but the doctors couldn’t find it and sent her home. The next day she began feeling pain and went to another hospital for X rays and a ultra sound. Still no sign of the toothbrush. Finally after having a CT scan the damn thing showed up and a doctor fished it out of her stomach.

Psst Lucky she didn’t have to pass it, that would have hurt!

13 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Junkyard Gator

Sheez, so redneck

Trappers in South Carolina were surprised when they cut open a 13ft alligator and found a soccer ball, 2 baseballs, a tennis ball, 53 fishing lures, heaps of lead sinkers, a beer can, two turtles and a smaller gator in his stomach. Seriously, they need to clean that swamp.

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Human Balloon

OK, OK, after some nudge, nudge, wink, wink  from Duncan (aka Madfrigginhatter), I will mention the sorry tale of Gareth Durrant. Seriously, it’s a sad tale of woe. Some how,  the poor electrician accidentally inflated his stomach after compressed air, from a power tool he was using, blew up his butt. Yes, butt!!! No loons, don’t ask me how that happened,something about the hose breaking and going up his shorts. Whatever, all I know is his tummy blew up like a friggin balloon . Evidently, the blast was so powerful it tore his bowel and severely damaged his intestines.

Want see what compressed air can do to your tummy? Click here.

17 Comments

Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Happy Feet Update

I know you are all wondering what happened to the wayward Emperor penguin which found its way onto a New Zealand beach after taking a wrong turn to Antarctica. Well, Happy Feet (so not original) is currently recovering from an operation to remove beach sand from its gut after it began eating it to try and keep cool. OK, not so bright Happy Feet thought the sand was friggin ice . Yep, not the sharpest tool in NZ the shed! Anywho, if the penguin survives they may consider returning it home. Hmm, but at the moment it is quite content to lie on a bed of party ice at the Wellington zoo.

2 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Drug Mule Fool

I swear man, no druggie , no lie!

Holy dumbass drug mule Batman. Fidelis Ozouli has got to be the stupidest friggin drug smuggler in the world or the most naive. He claims he didn’t have a clue that the 67 packages he swallowed for a mate were full of drugs, let alone cocaine. Drug fool was hiding 1kg of the class A in his gut when he was sprung at Manchester airport. Ozouli stuck out like dog’s balls as he waddled through customs with a hell unnaturally bloated belly. After x-rays, Ozouli took out the prize for one of the largest amount of drugs found internally on any mule by UK customs (well, that’s something right?). The cocaine was 78% pure , had a street value of £250,000 and if one of them had burst he would have been a dead man walking. When questioned, he looked dumbfounded saying ‘I just did not know what they were. I thought I was swallowing something else to take into Britain as a favour for a pal.’ Dude, what are you, friggin thick? Ozouli is from Nigeria but was , until now, studying in London. Oh well, I guess he will be able to finish his degree in jail, compliments of the British taxpayers!

Psst : Luckily he didn’t insert the packages up him bum, nothing more unattractive than a man with a fat ass, right girls?

2nd Psst Geez, I hope he isn’t related to those Nigerian friends of mine…ooh which reminds me, I gotta send them my accounts details !

14 Comments

Filed under Denial, Friggin Dumbass, Join the skeptic club!, They Live Among Us !

Iron Man Food

Man had over kilo of scrap metal in his stomach

Waiter, I seem to have misplaced my cutlery!

OMG, doctors in Peru got the shock of their lives when they operated on a man who complained of severe abdominal pains.Inside his gut was almost a kilo of friggin nails, coins , scrap metal and even a knife.It took over 2 hours to remove all the crap from Requelme Abanto Alvarado’s stomach. Hmm, he is now being examined by mental health experts. Geez, they just tell him he has too much iron in his system!

Psst I bet he has lost his fear of walking past a magnet!

Leave a comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!