Oi, oi, oi!!!
OMG, a woman in Israel has somehow managed to swallow her toothbrush. Bat-El Panker (24) was brushing her teeth when she bent over the tap with her toothbrush in her mouth and viola, down her throat (so much for gravity). After several attempts at trying to retrieve it she gave up and rushed herself to the hospital but the doctors couldn’t find it and sent her home. The next day she began feeling pain and went to another hospital for X rays and a ultra sound. Still no sign of the toothbrush. Finally after having a CT scan the damn thing showed up and a doctor fished it out of her stomach.
Psst Lucky she didn’t have to pass it, that would have hurt!
Sheez, so redneck
Trappers in South Carolina were surprised when they cut open a 13ft alligator and found a soccer ball, 2 baseballs, a tennis ball, 53 fishing lures, heaps of lead sinkers, a beer can, two turtles and a smaller gator in his stomach. Seriously, they need to clean that swamp.
OK, OK, after some nudge, nudge, wink, wink from Duncan (aka Madfrigginhatter), I will mention the sorry tale of Gareth Durrant. Seriously, it’s a sad tale of woe. Some how, the poor electrician accidentally inflated his stomach after compressed air, from a power tool he was using, blew up his butt. Yes, butt!!! No loons, don’t ask me how that happened,something about the hose breaking and going up his shorts. Whatever, all I know is his tummy blew up like a friggin balloon . Evidently, the blast was so powerful it tore his bowel and severely damaged his intestines.
Want see what compressed air can do to your tummy? Click here.
I swear man, no druggie , no lie!
Holy dumbass drug mule Batman. Fidelis Ozouli has got to be the stupidest friggin drug smuggler in the world or the most naive. He claims he didn’t have a clue that the 67 packages he swallowed for a mate were full of drugs, let alone cocaine. Drug fool was hiding 1kg of the class A in his gut when he was sprung at Manchester airport. Ozouli stuck out like dog’s balls as he waddled through customs with a hell unnaturally bloated belly. After x-rays, Ozouli took out the prize for one of the largest amount of drugs found internally on any mule by UK customs (well, that’s something right?). The cocaine was 78% pure , had a street value of £250,000 and if one of them had burst he would have been a dead man walking. When questioned, he looked dumbfounded saying ‘I just did not know what they were. I thought I was swallowing something else to take into Britain as a favour for a pal.’ Dude, what are you, friggin thick? Ozouli is from Nigeria but was , until now, studying in London. Oh well, I guess he will be able to finish his degree in jail, compliments of the British taxpayers!
Psst : Luckily he didn’t insert the packages up him bum, nothing more unattractive than a man with a fat ass, right girls?
2nd Psst Geez, I hope he isn’t related to those Nigerian friends of mine…ooh which reminds me, I gotta send them my accounts details !