If you were getting money out of an ATM and a note reading “Please help me I am stuck inside the machine” came out the receipt slot what would you do? Well if you were in Texas, you would ignore it. Some poor ATM repair man was frantically writing notes after accidentally locking himself inside the machine but people were ignoring them because they thought it was some sort of prank.
It all seemed so easy. A quick shortcut through a fence. Silly billy.
A very embarrassed beaver got its butt stuck in a fence and had to wait until the Hamilton Animal Services rocked up with soap. He is now resting up in rehab. The Hamilton Animal Services manager response ….”We believe that no beaver should be left behind.”
There are numerous things you can do with a wedding ring but slipping it on your penis is not one of them. Just ask the Chinese dude who had his stuck for two days. The pain became so unbearable he had no choice but to ring firefighters. It took 90 minutes and a bucket of humiliation before the gold band was cut off. Unfortunately for him, footage of the incident has been making its rounds on social media.
PSST I know what you are thinking Loons but I’m
guessing hoping the ring was a man’s extra large.
When your neighbour’s pussycat gets stuck up a 40ft tree for 12 hours and you can’t afford the cost of an animal rescue service why wouldn’t you set up a crowd funding campaign. Four hours later and $205 raised, Boots, the orange tabby, is now back on solid ground. Sleep easy animal lovers, one less cat to worry about.
Oh dear, big time awks for the Chinese prostitute whose elderly customer died while they were having sex. Seems she got stuck on his….oh never mind. They both got wheeled out on a hospital stretcher presumably to get it removed. Good luck with that. What a dinner party tale she will have to tell.
A word of warning to anyone experiencing minus degree temps, please don’t be licking no flag poles, especially one in your front yard. Awkward and embarrassing. The poor 12 year old was stuck by her tongue for 15 minutes while her dad plowed snow because she couldn’t scream for help. Her Attempt at pulling it free simply ended with blood.By the time anyone noticed the girl frantically flapping her arms around, the embarrassment had been complete. She is expected to have a swollen tongue for 6 weeks.
You know what I hate? When you’re participating in a charity walk and a draw bridge suddenly goes up while you are on it, you get stuck and someone posts your predicament on Twitter. I really friggin hate that.
How can you find out if your boyfriend is a keeper? Hmm, by having a naked sex romp outside your apartment and if you get your head stuck between the handrails of a staircase and he flees before emergency workers arrive, you probably need to go back to eHarmony.
Emergency workers in Spain had their hands full trying to free a man’s testicles and penis from a steel sex toy. They had to use a two bladed buzz saw, which required two battery changes, before they could free the dude’s manhood from the metal ring. The rescue was made that little bit harder because his genitals continued to swell.