Nearly 150 students in Kenya were slaughtered overnight by a terrorist group and not one online newspaper in Australia has it as their leading story. . Disgraceful!!!! Australia’s leading online news site news.com.au ….. nice headlines
OK, a little hooray for PerthNow who actually reported the massacre on headlines page … as story FIVE.
Poor, poor, nut and sugar deprived students at Colombia University are eating their way through $5,000 worth of Nutella a week, so says the executive director of dining services at the uni. Since the chocolate hazelnut spread was introduced into the cafeterias last month, students have been seen scoffing down entire jars in one sitting or stealing the jars for later scoffing. Hmm, I suspect they were all deprived of this delicacy as children. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a spike in gym membership soon.
Psst What ever you do don’t tell the Wombies.
Give up? Well it’s a stool tool chart. Cambridge University students Alexandra Daisy Ginsberg and James King have created a yogurt type drink that can turn your shit into all the pretty colors of a rainbow to discover how sick you are. Yep, they have genetically modified all the nasty bacterias into different colors so when you down the “E.Chromi” drink and then crap in the bowl, you can self diagnose. Splendid. So, here’s rundown of the chart…
Yellow = Colitis
Green = Bowel Cancer
Red = Rotavirus
Mauve = Salmonella
Dark Blue = Stomach Ulcer
Light Blue = Worms
Brown = Good to go
This is a hypochondriacs dream!!! Oh and Mega, you might want to ignore this chart as you’ve been pooping rainbow turds for years!!!!
Want sauce with that?
OK, here’s the thing little snowflakes, when you find a bottle at school make sure it really is perfume before you spray it. Several 8 year olds from Cambridgeport Elementary School were taken to hospital after pepper spraying each other with what they thought was perfume. That’s a fail right there.