Tag Archives: suicide bomber

Assassination Attempt on US Defence Secretary

US Defence Secretary Leon Panetta must be sweating bricks.  As his plane was about to touch down at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan today a vehicle drove onto the runway and went kaboom, in what is feared to be an attempted assassination. Hmm, I don’t think  Panetta’s visit to Afghanistan to quell fears over  the US soldier’s rampage has got off to a very good start.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Suicide Bomber’s Epic Fail

Oh for the love of Allah, a Moroccan man has been busted big time in Washington DC after donning on a suicide vest and heading into the heart of the US capital  to do some kabooming. What Amine el Khalifi didn’t know was the vest was a friggin fake, provided by undercover FBI agents who he thought were Al Qaeda operatives. Oh awkward! Guess he’ll be kicking himself.

Psst So they hand out suicide vests? Sheez, I always thought they built them themselves. Lazy bastards to boot!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !

Gaddafi’s Son Dead

If the world wanted to see crazy, they are going to get crazy, now one of Gaddafi’s sons has been kaboomed by a suicide bomber. Evidently a Libyan pilot kamikaze-ed his jet into the Bab al-Azizia barracks seriously injuring Khamis who later reportedly died in hospital. None of this has been confirmed of course so it could be just another one of Gaddafi’s over dramatic fibs.

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Filed under End Credit, Whoops!

Bomber Was High On Drugs

Russia’s FSB security service said the Moscow Airport bomber was as high as a kite when he/she set off the suicide belt killing 36 people. Tests from the teeny weeny bits and pieces left of the bomber revealed “a huge amount of highly powerful drugs and psychotropic substances.” And that makes us feel any better how?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

The Dangers Of Being A Suicide Bomber

OK, here’s the thing suicide bombers, make sure when you’re preparing your friggin cell phone activated suicide belt , no one sends you a text message before hand and sets the damn thing off. A Russian woman who was planning to blow herself up in Red Square on New Year’s Eve was blown to smithereens a few hours before when her cell phone provider sent her a Happy New Year text , triggering the detonation. She and her house were pretty much blown to kingdom come!

Psst There goes the 72 virgins!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Miss Moscow Airport Suicide Bomber

Word on the street is the Moscow suicide bomber was in fact a female. It is also being reported she shouted “I will kill you all” before exploding a bomb which had the power of 5kg of TNT in the baggage collection area of the airport . Determined bitch!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Terror Alert As Bomb Goes Off In Moscow Airport

Breaking News – Seems a suicide bomber had kaboomed himself  at Moscow’s main international airport killing at least 31 people and injuring over 130. The Moscow police are treating the incident as a terrorist attack and are now on a full terror alert. The explosion at the Domodedovo Airport is believed to have happened in the arrivals hall at around 4.32pm as travelers were collecting their luggage. There are concerns for British Airlines passengers who arrived just before the explosion. Ball-bearings and screws have been found at the scene suggesting it was definitely a terrorist attack.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Terrorist Attack On Moscow Metro

Terror for Russian commuters as at least 40 people have been killed in what is believed to be a terrorist attack on Moscow metro. The first explosion hit Lubyanka Metro and the second at Park Kultury station during peak hour today. Despite reports being sketchy it is believed suicide bombers were behind the attack. No word yet on who is responsible but most fingers are being pointed at Chechnya militants.

UPDATE Russian authorities believe the two suicide bombers were women and suspect they come from North Caucasus ( a largely Muslim area of Russia).

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never