God Has A Representative

Well then, a woman in Omaha is taking it upon herself to sue ALL the homosexuals on behalf of God and Jesus. Yes indeedy, she has filed a federal lawsuit asking the judge to clarify if homosexuality is a sin because according to the Bible it is (yes, she quoted Sodom and Gomorrah). She also states in her 7 page handwritten court brief “I never thought that I would see a day in which our great nation or our own great state of Nebraska would become so compliant to the complicity of some peoples lewd behavior,”.  Oh and the reason they are “hiding in the closets” is that they know it is a goddam sin.

Oh Sweet Child Of Mine

Oh dear god, imagine if a sperm bank accidentally sent you an email with your sperm donor’s real name on it. You know, the man with an IQ of 160, who has an undergraduate degree in neuroscience and a master’s degree in artificial intelligence and who was pursuing a Ph.D. in neuroscience engineering. Yeah him. Well, imagine if you now research the dude and it turns out the father of your child is really a schizophrenic college dropout with a criminal history ….. ooh plus the photo of him had been altered to remove a large mole on his cheek? That’s a big friggin law suit right there. Sleep with one eye open .

Woman On a “No Fly” List Grounded

How’s this for irony, a Malaysian woman who is suing the US government for putting her  on a “no-fly” list can’t testify because they won’t allow her to fly to America because she is on a “no fly” list. The woman, who was a Stanford Uni scholar , was whacked on the list in 2005 after FBI interviewed her about the Malaysian terrorist group Jemaah Islamiyah.

Biggest Insult EVER

A US executive is suing her boss (and scent making firm Firmenich) for $6 million after he told her she looked like Susan Boyle. Sheez, only $6 million?

Want sauce with that?

Rats On Planes?

Hell no. A trolley dolly for  American Airlines is suing her co workers after they accused her of sneaking her pet rats onto planes by hiding them in her pantyhose and underwear. After she was dobbed in, her passport was flagged for over a year forcing her to go through extra security. Her lawyer said . “She’s not a nut. They’re making her out to be a nut.” She is adamant she never brought her rodents to work.

Penile Implant Fail

OMG a truck driver, who had a three piece penile implant, ended up with an erection that lasted 8 months. Yes, the dude is suing. Poor guy had to wear baggy sweat pants and long shirts to hide his permanent erection. Hmm, but it is alleged, despite his scrotum swelling to the size of a volleyball, he failed to do anything about it. It was only after the implant punctured his scrotum during a family trip to Niagara Falls did he have it removed. Unfortunately, despite getting a replacement prosthesis from another doctor his penis is now
about 50% smaller.

Want sauce with that?

 

Lubricant Disfigures Penis

No honey, it isn’t suppose to be that big

Oh dear, a Philadelphia man is suing The Kama Sutra Co. and Kamsut Inc. for allegedly making his penis burn and swell after he applied their lubricating and desensitizing gel, resulting in permanent disfigurement and loss of sensation. Ouch. 

Snacks Cost More Than the Movie

Deep down we all wish could take Cinemas to court for charging ridiculously absurd prices for their snacks. Well, some dude in the US did but instead of winning his lawsuit he was told by a judge to buy a subscription to Netflix and stop wasting my time.

Royal Blush

What is worse than a French Magazine publishing topless photos of  Prince William’s wife? Hinting they have photos of her and William having sex. Dear lord, leave them alone. William , who is apparently fuming, has sought to sue the magazine. Meanwhile the editor has justified the  publishing of intimate photos by saying Prince Harry would feel ‘less alone’ when the magazine hits shelves. La bitch.

Psst 1 Fergie  denies she was seen in France with a long lens.

Psst Oh and for the record she is no longer Kate Middleton but Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.

Blind Attorney Hit By Cyclist

You know what I hate? When a blind man gets run down by a cyclist in Central Park and the victim happens to be an attorney and disabled rights activist. Hmm, that’s a suing right there city of New York. Yes, no, he’s not suing the cyclist only the city!!!! Nothing is just an accident anymore.

Want sauce with that?