Mansplaining Hotline

The Swedish labor union have just opened a hotline for frustrated women who can’t deal with ‘mansplaining’. Naw, Bless. Yep, evidently it is in epidemic proportions. For those of you unfamiliar with the word “mansplaining”, it is when a male is condescending to a female by over explaining something that the woman already understands.

PSST : Confession time,  I’m a tad guilty in womansplaining when my partner decides to cook….just saying.

Foul!

A soccer player in Sweden let one rip and was sent off by the ref. Yep, a red card for farting. Ref claims it was “deliberate” and “unsportsmanlike”,  he said “I had a bad stomach and so I simply let go”,  players said it was “loud and clear”.

They Don’t Seem To Be The People Who Party

OK, note to self , don’t put balloons shaped like the number 21 in the window. Seems the Swedes are a little hyper sensitive to anything that looks like IS (Islamic State). Yep, someone who read the balloons backwards called the cops. After a few hearty laughs the law enforcement officers asked for the balloons to be removed from the window.

You Dirty Rat

A friggin one metre rat has been caught in Sweden but not before it moved in and terrorized the hell out of a family. The damn thing tunnelled its way into the family’s home and then made a nest behind their dishwasher. The beast then proceeded to torment the family cat and dig through the water pipes. Enter an exterminator ,who, using an uber industrial trap, killed the bugger. According to experts this rat was a bub, compared to what is living in garbage around the country. Sleep with one eye open people.

Pull Another One

A Swiss prisoner who had the almighiest of toothaches, but was denied treatment, escaped from  a minimum security facility to see his dentist. Once his tooth was pulled he contacted police and they returned him to his cell. He only got an additional day added to his original one month sentence.

Fox Out Foxed

Don’t mess with Ingrid Meinking if you know what’s good for ya. The 75 year old Swedish woman claims she killed a fox by swinging it by it’s tail and slamming it onto a stone step after she sprung it trying to steal her chickens. The poor fox’s only escape from the coop was through the old lady’s legs but as he made a run for it she squeezed her legs tight trapping the defenceless critter.

Problem Solved

Hooligan trouble in Sweden? No prob, the cops  just increase the speed of the esculators…see ya.

Special Delivery

Some perv in Sweden has been arrested after he followed a woman home and then stuck his penis through the mail slot in her door. The dude fled like a jack rabbit when she opened it (no, the door silly).  Luckily he didn’t do that at my place or Claudius would have had a ball (pun intended).

Spotify When You Die

On the very slim chance that you can still hear when you die, a company in Sweden have created the perfect coffin. Introducing the CataCombo Sound System coffin, it comes equipped with two way speakers and a Spotify music account to stream songs into your grave. The awesome part is,  once you’ve gone,  friends can add songs to your playlist just incase you get bored hearing the same songs over and over again. How much I hear you mutter? Well, for a cool $30,000 it’s all yours.

Fish First

Open up, fish police

Shh people, the fish are sleeping. Swedish authorities have told a night club they have to lower their music because of concerns over cichlid fish living in the club. Evidently they have been playing their music at over 100 decibels when the law clearly states that music must be kept at 65 decibels or lower when pet animals are in the vicinity. Seriously, did some one dob them in?