Tag Archives: swine flu

Die or Sleep

Nah, he's got narcolepsy

Have problems sleeping? Hmm, might be because of the swine flu shot you took. No need to panic people but there may be a link between Pandemrix (swine flu vaccine) and narcolepsy (a sleep disorder). So what the hell is narcolepsy you may ask? Hmm, well here’s what they say “a disabling chronic neurological disorder characterised by recurrent episodes of excessive daytime sleepiness.”  Oh my, caused by a swine flu shot you say and not from drinking ….interesting!!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

We Now Know Who The Real Swines Are

So it's just a cold then?

Wolfgang Wodarg, head of health at the Council of Europe, is claiming the swine flu outbreak was a “fake” pandemic driven purely by the drug and pharmaceutical companies to make a massive profit. No, you don’t say!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Friggin Garlic Pandemic

Serbians are using garlic to combat swine flu

Sheez, is it me?

OK, I am not sure how to tell you this guys but garlic has pretty much the same affect it has on vampires as it does on Swine Flu. Which is pretty much zip, nil, nada. Since the Serbian outbreak of pig flu, garlic has been flying off the shelves and stalls with people reportedly eating them like apples. Dear god, the breath! Health officials are trying their damnedest to stop this obsession and just get people to have the friggin vaccination! Hmm, though they might have an uphill battle, with one smelly old man shouting from the local market  “From the vaccine, you can get sick. From garlic, you can only get bad breath.”
Serbia has about 270 recorded swine flu cases and eight deaths.

Psst Another place to scratch off my vacation list!

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Cheaper Than Therapy

Last week  Two Yorks and a Bean wrote a post about a blogger who’s son “Big Kid” is fighting for life with Swine Flu. Her blog, which is usually full of wit and humor, has become a day to day journal of her struggle to come to terms with the disease, mortality, hopes and fears. Attila the Mom, as she is known, is brutally honest and yet still friggin funny as she faces the biggest challenge of her life. I hope all the loon readers pop on by and give her some words of encouragement, oh and pull the piss on Pa Ingalls.   You can find her at Cheaper Than Therapy.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, You Go Girl!

Just Spreading The Love

Hmm, my favorite precious, Marilyn Manson, snotted fans sitting front row the night before he was diagnosed with swine flu. Bless. Hey, I thought pigs weren’t carriers? That is way gross so don’t bother watching the clip if you don’t want to, you can visualize. At least we don’t have to worry about the fans spreading the disease, they don’t come out during daylight hours nor mingle with society much.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Swine Flu is Discriminatory?

Really?

Really?

Malaysian doctor Dr. V. M. Palaniappan believes he has a sure fire way to avoid the swine flu, quit the masturbation and homosexual activities people. You heard him, quit it! The good doc says these types of activities cause the body to develop friction heat, which in turn produces acid that can make the body hyperacidised. And hyperacidiation is bad, plays havoc with your  immune system and therefore makes your body more susceptible to H1N1 infection.OK, I know what you’re thinking, wouldn’t heterosexual sex have the same result. Nope, according to the good doc that is safe! Hmm, obviously it doesn’t cause enough “friction heat”. Oh but boys and girls who are in the high risk category, that’s the masturbators and the gays, Dr Palaniappan recommends coconut water as a way to prevent acidity. Good to know!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Isn’t Ironic?

David McCusker, the actor who stars in the British “Catch It, Bin It, Kill It” Swine Flu TV commercial has been diagnosed with it. Unlucky! Yep, he is popping Tamiflu as we speak.

Psst Those people in the lift are way too friendly for my liking!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Whoops!

This Little Piggy

Has anyone got a disprin?

Has anyone got a ASSpirin?

Up to 2,000 Aussie pigs are believed to have caught the Swine Flu thanks to their sick farmer and his staff.The Dunedoo piggery is in lock down after it was confirmed the piggies have influenza H1N1. And cue government to reassure consumers pork and ham is safe to eat, as the industry still struggles to regain consumer confidence since the pandemic was originally declared. Good luck with that!

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife

Cherie Blair Has A Cold

Cherie Blair has suspected swine-fluWhat, Cherie Blair has the swine flu? Hmm, I thought it couldn’t be transferred from…ah never mind! So the former ex Prime Minister’s missus has the suspected pandemic and has had to cancel all her public engagements ( I guess we should take it seriously then?). Can someone hand her a tissue. From all reports Tony and the kids are staying well clear of her as she continues to down her daily dose of Tamiflu.

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Filed under Well I Never, Whoops!

Khanzir, The Only Pig In The Village

Well, it was wearing the orange jumpsuit that really sucked!

Well, it was wearing the orange jumpsuit that really sucked!

Just for those wondering, the only pig in the village has been released now that the swine flu fears are over and he is now basking in the sun and mud. Khanzir has been released from pig prison at the Kabul Zoo following his months of incarceration at the height of the pig flu pandemic.  Yay little piggy. Being a Muslim country, pigs are somewhat of a novelty and it is believed that Khanzir is the only pig in Afghanistan. His release didn’t go down too well with some visitors who ran for their lives as the little porker dashed through the zoo to his enclosure. Some were even seen covering their mouth and nose just in case he sneezed on them. Geez, no sense of humor! No word on whether he was waterboarded during his time behind bars!

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !