We kill you
The definition of awkward …when the United States Air Force parachutes 750 ornately decorated honey-glazed Christmas hams into assorted Pashtun tribes in an attempt to win the “hearts and minds” of the Taliban. Hmm, I might change that from awkward to epic fail as the Taliban reactions was to increase its suicide bombings. Lucky they didn’t drop crates of Budweiser as well !!!
Psst Seriously? I suspect this is a hoax story.
Want sauce with that?
When it comes to modern technology the Taliban pretty much suck. Qari Yousuf Ahmedi, a spokesman for the terrorist group, was preparing a routine press release when instead of clicking “bcc” he clicked “cc” sending all the hidden names and email addresses to everyone on the list (including journalists and warlords).
Let me just say there is nothing less appealing than a Taliban militant dressed in women’s clothing (sorry Mega, but there’s not) , especially when they don’t shave . Hmm, but that’s what those little friggin terrorists are resorting to, to get closer to Allied forces. OMG, that’s so embarrassing. There definitely won’t to be 72 virgins waiting for YOU!!!
Want to see one pretty in pink?
OK, here’s the thing Toronto man, you don’t go holidaying in Afghanistan while the US is still at war with the Taliban, because that’s a friggin kidnapping right there! Colin Rutherford has been held hostage by the Taliban since 2010 and the family are now trying to tee up a meeting with his captors via email “so we can work something out.” Hmm, I’m not sure they are the negotiating type? Anywho, seems the Canadian government have exhausted all avenues (seriously?). Colin went for a two week sight seeing vacation and 14 months later he is still there. Come on, can’t someone help? Oh and don’t look at me, I think I still have a few fatwas out on me!
A big shout out to British soldier Lance Corporal Luke Reeson who was shot in the face by the Taliban but simply spat out the bullet and walked 2 miles for medical help. The bullet evidently bounced off his body armor went up his lower cheek (breaking his jaw) before ending up in his mouth. Reeson is expected to make a full recovery.
OK, here’s the thing soldiers, thanks to the friggin Taliban getting sneakier and basically better at producing roadside bombs, BCB International have designed blast resistant undies. Yes sirree, the “blast boxers” are designed to protect your private parts from flying shrapnel.