Tag Archives: tarantulas

It’s On

If you happen to be hiking in California you might want to take extra care….it’s tarantula mating season people. Feet up!!! Yep, the hairy, scary arachnids are randy and looking for love. In typical female fashion the lady tarantulas stay at home and weave an enticing web while the boys have to trek across hill and dale to find a willing partner. Unfortunately for the desperate fellas, if they dawdle too long after sex they are more likely than not to be killed and eaten by the ungrateful bitch female. Who would want to be a spider?

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Cane Toad Problem Solved

The only effective way

I have some good news and I have some bad news. Firstly, there maybe an effective predator to the Cane Toad. Bad news, it’s friggin tarantulas. Feet up everybody! Those hairy arachnids jump the nasty toads when they venture anywhere near their burrows. They have friggin burrows? Queensland spider expert suggests if you want cane toads out of your life adopt spiders, big ones.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !

Tarantula Safety 101

I'm warning you, piss me off one more time and I'll.....

OK here’s the thing people, do not and I repeat do not piss off your pet tarantula. You get too close to one of those suckers when he’s in a bad mood he’ll friggin blow microscopic hairs into your eyes.Don’t say I didn’t warn you. They can be downright nasty.Don’t believe me? Ask the 29 year old British man who got blasted in the face with a mist of barbed tarantula hairs. He’s still got them stuck in his cornea like weenie spears so fine not even micro surgery could be of any help. Oooh and did I forget to mention they are covered in some noxious chemical which stings like a bitch? Wanna know when your spider is about to blow? The warning sign comes when the arachnid suddenly lifts one of his legs while balancing on the other seven ( bit like when a human is about to fart!). See that, friggin run.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Brazil Nut!

British pet shop owner caught smuggling spiders out of Brazil

England you say?

Urgh, a British pet shop owner has been arrested in Rio de Janeiro after getting caught attempting to smuggle nearly 1,000 friggin live spiders out of Brazil in his luggage. Thank god for X-ray machines, imagine them escaping in the plane! Included amongst the eight legged hairy creatures were tarantulas (oh, of course!). Authorities believe the man intended to sell them as pets, oh goodie just in time for Christmas.

Psst How did he friggin catch them all?

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never