Tag Archives: Tennessee

Stupidity Is The New Black

mowerGeez Tennessee why so precious? A woman has been jailed for failing to mow her lawn. Yep, you heard me, for not mowing the lawn. The poor woman received a Lenoir City citation as her the lawn wasn’t being maintained to their standards, which she must have ignored,  because the judge sentenced her to 5 days in jail. After she appealed it was reduced to 6 hours. The mother of two, who has a full time job , could face more jail time if the lawn isn’t satisfactory by November.

Psst Seriously, the council should have just hired a lawn mowing person to cut the damn lawn and then send her the bill.

Want sauce with that?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Child Suspended Over Bad Odor

Child suspended from school because she stinksA kid in Tennessee has missed over three weeks of school due to suspensions because she stinks. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, that’s what school officials are saying. The 8 year old evidently ponks so badly that the students and her teacher can’t focus when she’s in class. Despite her mother claiming the girl takes good care of herself the school says she sleeps in her clothes and can’t remember the last time she had a bath or brushed her teeth. Um, hello, rather than play the blame game maybe the school and mother should come up with a solution.

Want sauce with that?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

How Much Is That Fabulous Doggy

Dog owner wanted his gay dog put downOh for the love of all things pink. A dog owner in Tennessee dumped his bulldog-mix hound at an animal shelter because …  wait for it …. he thought the dog was gay. I don’t know, something about humping a male dog or barking with a lisp, but anywho, the poor pooch was hours away from being put down when an animal loving tribe of Facebookers came to its rescue.  The animal shelter was bombarded with people willing to take the gay dog (who wasn’t so much gay, as just showing off his dominance). No need to have worried however, as the dapper pooch had already been snaffled up by  a veterinary technician who named him Elton. Oh how precious.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Leaf me Alone

When a woman in Tennessee saw a man with a leaf blower blowing grass cuttings onto her car she was furious. She was even more so when she confronted him and he raised the running blower at her “in an offensive and provocative manner” sending dirt and debris into her face. Hmm, that’s a simple assault charge right there!


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Dummy Spit Alert

Sheez, some reporters are just so precious!


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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

But They Looked So Real!

Yeah, they look real!

OK motorists of McMinn County can you quit calling 911, that tiger and cub seen on the I-75 are stuffed. Several concerned motorists rang 911 fearing the tigers had escaped from a circus but when a deputy was sent to investigate he found two stuffed animals watching the traffic. Punk’d!


Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

A Small Community Announcement

Found it!

Attention people,  if anyone in Tennessee comes across a cylinder shaped package with two rods inside, friggin run, it’s radioactive!!! Fed Ex seems to have misplaced the motherload which is probably glowing in the dark as we speak! The rods are used to calibrate hospital equipment and/or nuke the living hell out of ya.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Just Messing With You

A man who jumped into the Tennessee River and didn’t seem to resurface maybe charged by police after it was discovered he was sitting in a bar watching the search party look for him for three hours.Evidently the man had swum across the river to the Hard Dock Cafe and watched as rescue crews scoured the river looking for him. When they called off the search he got back into the water and swam back. The police then received an anonymous phone call saying there was a soaking wet man, matching the description of the missing man, walking down the street. The police allege the fool made the call himself.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Honey, Put Down The Controller

Spot the difference!

Oh dear, it never ends well when a three year old mistakes a handgun for a Wii control. Cheyenne Alexis McKeehan has died after shooting herself in the stomach with a .380 caliber semi automatic owned by her stepdad. Cheyenne’s mother was only a few feet away when the accident happened. It is believed the little girl, who had been playing with a Wii gun controller for days, thought the real gun was a controller too. Cheyenne’s stepfather Douglas Cronberger had grabbed the gun from a cabinet when he thought he heard a prowler outside his Tennessee property. After returning to the house he left the gun in the living room and went back to bed. A short time later Cheyenne found the weapon.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Fear Factor

You have no idea how henpecked I am

Oh for goodness sakes man, how scared of your wife are you? Timothy Ray Sutton from Tennessee  told police he lied about being robbed because he didn’t want his  wife to know he gave $5 to a homeless man. Sheez, lucky you aren’t friggin Tiger then you would have something to sweat over!! Mr Sutton made a statement to police that he had been mugged while in a parking lot, but it was all crap, there was no robber or a weapon, just a guy scared of his wife. Now the poor bugger has been charged with making a false police report all for friggin 5 bucks!


Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!