Tag Archives: terrorist

Way Less Scary

Remember Abu Hamza, the evil British radical hate cleric with one eye and a hook? Yeah him. Well anywho, he’s been sitting  in a cell friggin fuming since having been extradited to the US to face 11 terror charges.  Evidently, the yanks don’t take too kindly to terrorists having  large metal hooks on the end of their arms. No siree, they prefer them to have spoons, or in this case a spork.

Seems when he arrived in the US they removed his metal hook, making it near impossible for him to use the toilet  or turn on taps. Now lawyers are trying to get approval for him to replace the hook with a spork. Hmm, he could still poke someone’s eye out with one of that thing. Might want to make it a plastic spoon?

Not so scary now!!!

Not so scary now!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Delta Airlines Has A Food Terrorist

OMG, needles have been found in 6 turkey sandwiches on four different Delta flights from Amsterdam to the US. The sandwiches , made in Amsterdam, were for business class passengers. Only one person was injured after eating the prickly delight.

Psst Hmm, at least they didn’t eat with forked tongues!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Police Arrest New York Bombing Suspect

Hmm, I guess we will be hearing the name Jose Pimentel a lot more less in the coming months, years, decades after he was was charged with conspiring to commit an act of terrorism in New York yesterday. The dude was planning to pipe bomb police and post offices in New York City with his homemade devices made from ingredients bought at Home Depot hardware stores. The nutter has been on the NYPD watch list since 2009 but it was only after the death of radical cleric Anwar al-Awlaki early this year that real concerns grew.  Pimentel was planning to change his name to Osama Hussein in honor of his two heroes, Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. Hmm, like that wouldn’t make him stick out like a sore thumb! I hope he likes orange!

Psst Hmm, why the hell did he want to bomb friggin post offices, they’re full of postal workers?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Underwear Bomber

Ooh ouch!

Seems underwear bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab hadn’t heard the news when he shouted out “Osama’s alive” at a pre-trial hearing. Boy, is he going to be pissed when they tell  him! Oh yeah, he also shouted jihad. The Nigerian man is facing trail for attempting to blow up the Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit with a bomb in his undies. It failed to detonate but instead gave him  nasty burn to the crotch.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser

Urban Terrorist Fail

You know what I hate? When you toddle off to plant a bomb and the damn thing blows up your face before you get to your destination. I really friggin hate that! Wannabe terrorist and self described anarchist Luciano Pitronello Schuffeneger from Chile now has no hands, no eyesight and third degree burns over his entire body after attempting to plant a bomb at a local bank. Police believe he may have accidentally set off the timer as he tried to get into the building. Hmmm, won’t be doing that again!

Psst There is video of the incident on Youtube but it’s far too disturbing to show.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Obviously Not The Number Of His Drycleaner

OK, the loon is somewhat intrigued about the cash and phone numbers found sewn into Osama Bin Laden’s clothing when he was kaboomed above the left eye. Was the 500 Euros and two phone numbers sewn into all his clothes or was he just wearing the same ones everyday? “Sewn in” kinda sounds permanent to me, which makes me think he was one very unhygienic  terrorist. Plus who belonged to those phone numbers and why the hell couldn’t he memorize them? Oh and let me tell you, I don’t  even want to guess as to why he had petroleum jelly on his nightstand. Sound to me like he wasn’t taking this terrorist role very seriously!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!

Did Bin Laden Shrink?

Sheez, just when you thought you’d seen everything in twaddles a tiny terrorist dwarf with an AK-47 assault rifle slung over his shoulder.Yep, the mini Mujahideen, who looks strikingly like a miniature Bin Laden was filmed on the streets of Afghanistan.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

No Benefits In Being A Terrorist

Oh for crying out loud Al Qaeda, if you don’t pay your terrorists friggin health care how do you expect them to stay loyal? Sheez! Former Al Qaeda member L’Houssaine Kherchtou told the court in New York  he left Bin Laden’s terror group because they refused to pay health care for him or his wife. Despite being Bin Laden’s pilot he became disgruntled when the friggin tight asses wouldn’t  pay for his wife’s cesarean section forcing her to beg on the streets for the money.  Sheez, you just can’t find a decent terrorist group these days. In the ultimate FU response, Kherchtou began helping the US in investigating two embassy bombings in Africa.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Terrorists Can Be Such Bad Sports

OK here’s the thing convicted terrorist, chucking a  hissy fit because you lost an egg and spoon race during a prison sports day probably  ain’t gonna help your chances of getting those 72 virgins. Manfo Kwaku Asiedu, the failed London suicide bomber,  cracked the sads when he got beaten by Rangzieb Ahmed in the Wakefield prison egg and spoon race .  So angry was Asiedu, he  proceeded to kick the friggin egg around the yard before stomping on it in disgust.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

He Just Keeps Bombing

Blahahaha, a contestant who auditioned for Canadian Idol, by doing a moonwalk across stage while singing an off key version of Avril Lavigne’s Complicated, has been arrested as part of a Canadian terrorist cell. For the love of god they are even infiltrating our trashy way of life, is there nothing sacred? Dr (yes, I said doctor) Khurram Sher is one of three men arrested in connection with a plot to kaboom things around Ottawa.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never