Tag Archives: terrorist

A Little Warning might Be Nice!

Oh for goodness sakes director of public policy and external affairs, how many times have I told you, don’t be doing no terrorist training drill at a hospital without prior warning, it doesn’t go down too well with staff. Whoopsie. An off duty police officer was hired to storm into  the  St. Rose Dominican Hospitals-Siena Campus intensive care unit, pretending  to be an armed  terrorist and herd  the terrified nurses down the corridor and into another room as part of a training drill. OK, sure it was bad enough somebody failed to tell anyone about the training drill, inexcusable it was in the unit where the sickest patients resided. Evidently terrified patients and their families watched on in horror as the actor/policeman waved a handgun at staff and marched them way. Yes, as expected the California Nurses Association are investigating the incident. Oh boy, someone’s in trouble now!!!

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Hangmen, A Dying Breed!

Geez, where do you get a decent hangman from these days, seems India are short a few. Come on people, one friggin Mumbai terrorist to execute and no friggin hangman! Can you believe the only surviving terrorist, Mohammed Ajmal Amir Kasab, has been sentenced to be hang but they can’t  find a professional hangman to do it. Ooh but never fear  Arjun Bhika Jadhav is here. OK, he maybe a little old (72) and has suffered a stroke or two but Jadhav is offering his services  after hearing about their dilemma and swears he can get the job done in 27 seconds. Yep, the man has been carrying out executions for 33 years and boasts 101 hangings.  Authorities are currently considering his offer.

Psst How’s about just a firing squad and be done with it?

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Autistic Child Makes Stick Figure Terrorist Threat

What do you do when an autistic kid draws two stick figures on a piece of paper, one with a gun in it’s hand marked “me” and the other with a teacher’s name above it? Charge him as being a terrorist, that’s what! Shane Finn is 14 years old, with the mental capacity of a 3rd grader, but that hasn’t stopped the Ridgeview Charter School from making him front a tribunal charged with making terrorist threats.

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Time Square Terrorist Caught

Not even close!

We now have the name of the dumbass who used the wrong type of fertilizer to blow up Time Square. Take a bow Faisal Shahzad. Yes, authorities claim the 100 pounds of fertilizer crammed into the SUV was kaboom proof! Yep, that’s right, non explosive (like chicken shit!).  Apparently Shahzad had just returned from a 5 months trip to Pakistan to hone his dumbass skills!

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Another Bomb in Time Square But This Time It’s Not a Musical

WTF, while the mouse is away. Here I was thinking nothing ever happens on a Sunday and Kaboom a friggin Time Square lock down, car bombs, panic and mayhem. Damn you. OK, so I am the last to know, but I have to write something about it right? So far the New York police have zilch, nada, zip on who was behind the homemade explosive device planted in a SUV parked outside a Broadway Theatre. But hello New York….another wake-up call.Them terrorist are sneaky little buggers. You gotta do more than just keep your eye on the ball on New Years eve people! OK, here’s what we know, the SUV had Connecticut license plates (registered to a Ford F-150), they found a box which contained two gas cans, three propane tanks, electric wires, black powder and a timing device. There is a second box in the SUV but police are yet to open it (just in case Kaboom!). Oh and mister or miss terrorist, authorities say the bomb looked amateurish, so there!

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The Sum Of All Fears

Are you sure?

OK, hands up people if you think he is Ben Affleck’s doppelganger? FBI say Jamal Saeed Abdul Rahim who was on their most wanted terrorist list is dead, but who are they kidding it’s Ben Affleck right? Rahim was wanted for his alleged role in the September 5th, 1986, hijacking of Pan American World Airways Flight 73 in Pakistan. According to reports he is believed to have been blown to smithereens from a CIA led missile strike in Pakistan this week. Hmm, but if you don’t see a new Affleck movie anytime soon … I’m just saying.

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Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword

You hear something?

Now we all know the grief Salman Rushdie suffered after his words got the fanatics angry, so imagine Danish cartoonist Kurt Westergaard’s when a friggin axe and knife wielding Somali (alleged) terrorist tried to kill him. Holy fanatic crazy bastards Batman, the home invader got as close as smashing a window before being shot. Westergaard’s woes began in 2005 after he published a cartoon featuring Islam’s Prophet Mohammed with a bomb-shaped turban on his head . Ever since then he has been looking over his shoulder in fear and ordering a lot of take-aways. Fortunately Westergaard’s house has a panic room, where he hid until police arrived and popped a slug into the unnamed man who has links to Al Qaeda.

Psst Hmm, I wonder if Bearman has a panic room!

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Terror In The Skies

Here, give me that!

Just when you thought it was safe to get back on a plane friggin. Authorities believe the Nigerian man who ignited a white substance on a Delta Airlines flight may have links to Al Qaeda. Friggin brilliant, back to the plastic cutlery. The suspect, who is now in hospital suffering second degree burns, lit up the explosive as the plane was about to land in Detroit but it failed to go kaboom! Several people were also hurt in the incident which has now become a full blown WTF investigation after it was announced it was a failed terrorist attack.

Psst The terrorist has been named as Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, an engineering student at University College of London, who surprise, surprise, is listed in the federal counterterrorism files and MAY (but not confirmed) to be on the banned passenger list. Great two biggies to answer…how did he manage to buy a one way ticket with that friggin name and how was he able to smuggle a friggin bomb on board? Geez, what a way to ruin Christmas lunch for the FBI , CIA and Homeland Security people! It’s back to watching Fox News terror meter I guess!

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Not a Very Handy Terrorist!

Fail!

Fail!

Here’s the thing would-be terrorist, if you are going to throw a  bomb at a police barracks in Milan make sure you get your hand out of the way or you could lose it. Libyan Mohamed Game, who has lived in Italy for 6 years, made the homemade device from fertilizer but failed to chuck it far enough before it went boom! Doctors later amputated what was left of his hand.

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Armageddon

WTF was that?

WTF was that?

OMG, WTF one of the scientists at the Swiss “Big Bang” lab is being held as a suspected Al qaeda terrorist. Hmm, the ultimate weapon of mass destruction and a terrorist, what could possibly go wrong? Boom! Yep, Dr Adlene Hicheur and his younger brother are being interrogated in France as we speak.

UPDATE Hmm, seems Dr Adlene Hicheur has admitted to plotting to nuke Britain and any other Western country he could manage in his brilliant mind.The good doc,  who has worked in Universities around the world, was specifcally targetted by Al Qeada.

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