Tag Archives: Tesco

Ho Ho Ho

Hold the reindeer Santa, the worst job in the world just became available…. a “Christmas Light Untangler”. Go Tesco, they just posted a part time position for some fool to untangle customers Chrissy lights. The successful applicant must be able to untangle 10 feet in 3 minutes …oh and ” be passionate about Christmas” (insert eye roll).  Dear god, does it cover stress leave?

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Like Selling Ice To Eskimos

Way to go Tesco and Asda, they have come up with a brilliant scam. Sell the public bottled tap water but don’t mention the fact on the label. Yes, the sneaky little British shopping chains are filtering water from the mains water then plonking them in plastic bottles and selling them for 17p (50 cents) for a 2 litre bottle. That’s cheap you say? Hmm, well if you just turned on your tap at home and filled an empty bottle it would cost you a third of a penny for basically the exact same thing. Plus you wouldn’t have to friggin cart it home. In an even smarter move the chains have placed the water on shelves right next to Evian and Perrier.

Psst Dear god, if they did it in Australia, odds would be it be it came from recycle sewage water.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Vermin in Aisle 6

Sheez, I gotta cut down, none of my clothes fit!

OK, no need to panic Tesco shoppers in Birmingham, but the next time you buy McCoy’s variety pack of chips you might want to put your ear up to it first and check for sounds of vermin. A mice invasion left shoppers screaming in fear as about 6 pink mice burst out of a bag of crisps.  Seems the store is plagued by mice who are no longer happy with the accommodation at the nearby canal and railway track. So desperate to pig out on snacks the creatures came up through the floor and headed straight to aisle 6 .

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Daddy, Why Is There Fur In My Sandwich?

Good grief, there is nothing worse than making lunch for your snowflakes only to discover a dead mouse in the loaf of bread. No seriously, that’s gross. Worse still, Stephen Forse from Oxfordshire had already used some of the bread. Initially he thought it was just a hard spot where the dough had failed to mix but on closer inspection it was a dead rodent. Want to see it? OK, but be warned it’s gross … the dead mouse.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Tesco Health and Safety Policies

First it was no bare feet, then it was no pjs now shock horror, Tesco have banned parents from carrying their kids on their shoulders. Martin Dunkley was told to take his daughter off his shoulders before entering the store because of health and safety reasons. He declined and went elsewhere to shop.Is this really a story or just a slow news day? Anywho, you have been warned, Tesco are tough. Geez, next they will be banning shopping trolley races in the car park!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Tesco Ban PJ Wearers

Bob felt lonely and isolated after being banned

Geez, is nothing sacred? Seems Tesco are banning people from shopping at their stores if they happen to be in their PJs. BUT WHY OH WHY? Well, it seems some precious shoppers felt uncomfortable and embarrassed by the state of some people’s night attire. Oh and the first victim of the “No Pyjama” rule, Elaine Carmody who was escorted out by security said “I’ve got lovely pairs of pyjamas, with bears and penguins on them. I’ve worn my best ones today, just so I look tidy.” See shoppers, jammie wearers are human too!

Psst Geez, first the PJs then the Snuggies when will it all end?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Strawberry Blondes Upset Over Christmas Cards

Dear Santa, You Suck!

Funny but inappropriate, Tesco have conceded and removed a Christmas card which pulls the piss on redheads. The card, which features Santa bouncing a redheaded kid on his knee reads “Santa loves all kids. Even GINGER ones”. Oooh awkward! The card was particular hurtful to Davinia Phillips who has three ginger haired daughters who said “If it had been about a black child or an overweight child the store would have been shut down by now.”

Psst Thank god they didn’t use ranga!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

You Could Make A Stir With One Of Those!

WTF!

WTF!

Damn, I nearly went a whole week without a Nanny State story but this one just snuck in under the wire. Evidently Tesco in the UK have recently introduced a “Think 25” campaign where it encourages customers to show their ID when purchasing certain products like ciggies and alcohol if they look under 25. Saves the check-out chick (or Chuck) the embarrassment of having to ask. Anywho, when Emma Sheppard (21) went a shopping at the Tesco Worcestershire store she was shocked, stunned, angered when the check out girl asked her to show ID for…wait for it…a pack of teaspoons! Yes, teaspoons.Mrs Sheppard and her hubby were so peeved about the stupidity of it all they exited stage left without so much as taking their groceries. A Tesco spokesperson was quick to apologized saying “Some utensils, such as knifes, will carry a ‘Think 25’ alert when scanned through the checkout.” Hmm, what someone under 21 can’t buy a knife either! Geez.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, How Embarrassing, Whoops!