One More Time

OK Loons, one more time, do not, and I repeat, do not put peanut butter on your crotch when in the room with a bulldog. Unless of course, you don’t want your penis or testicles. Apparently, the dog ate the man’s genitals and left him bleeding on the floor.

Meatball Pizza

Note to self, never , ever order a pizza close to closing time in Texas. A disgruntled employee at a Papa Murphy’s restaurant allegedly rubbed his testicles over a customer’s family sized Canadian bacon, pineapple, extra cheese pizza because he was peeved that the customer ordered too close to closing time . Urgh, hate to think how the customer found out….

Bank Balls Up

Note to all banks, don’t be posting no photo of a cute little squirrel hanging by its balls, some customers might think it is in bad taste especially when you use the caption “Because accidents don’t just happen to others, insurance will also cover you for any temporary injuries”. Within a few hours the Caisse d’Epargne Bank was forced to remove the unlucky squirrel due to social media back lash.

Testicles Have Taste Buds

Here’s a piece of useless information. Evidently, testicles have taste buds that can detect sweet flavours.  What the hell? Oh and if you happen to block these taste buds you are pretty much deemed infertile. So wearing strawberry lip gloss ….. oh never mind.

Want sauce with that?

Now That Takes Balls

OK, taking a cop’s gun maybe one thing but squeezing his testicles, now come on, that’s like an arresting right there. The dude is facing a string of charges and is currently on a $100,000 bond. Moral of the story is don’t play with an officer’s balls.

Guess what this is?

Give up? Ah, you will never guess. The image is a scan of a man’s scrotum. Yep, you see the face too huh? When the man from Canada began complaining about severe pain in his testicles, doctors ordered a scan and viola, they found a tumor with what looks like a face  “screaming in pain”. The face, the growth and the testicle were all later removed.

Honey, why Is Your Crotch Glowing?

OK, the good news that the big cloud of radioactive sulfur that reached the US after the Fukushima disaster posed no threat to the health of Americans … hmm, yeah about that. Seems Sulfur-35 (technical name) finds it difficult to penetrate the body  but not so when inhaled. Hmm,  and guess where the radioactive sulfur likes to hang out in the human body?  Testicles guys, testicles.

Want sauce with that?

Get A Grip!

A woman in Seattle has been charged with third-degree domestic violence after she allegedly squeezed her boyfriend’s balls so hard during a fight that he had to have surgery. Ouch! Hmm, want look good on your resume Jennifer Kolone.

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Quite a Mouthful

OK, here’s the thing people, technically, if a woman bites off her boyfriends balls , are they still a couple? Maria Georgina Topp from Newcastle in England is accused of biting off Martin Douglas’ testicles  for which he needed surgery to reattach them. The two had allegedly been drinking when at around 4am  things got a little heated and testes.

Want sauce with that?

DIY Sex Change

OK people this is probably something you shouldn’t try at home. A British man attempted a DIY testicle removal in  a bid to change his sex. Yes and when he was done he  hurled them into a park. Twenty four hours later he rolled up to a hospital where he was greeted by horrified staff. Doctors believe the man may have been suffering from a “gender confusion problem”  and advised him to seek psychiatric help after they finished stitching him up. People have been reluctant to walk their dogs in the park since the incident, worried their dogs may fetch the wrong ball!