Tag Archives: testicles

Taking It Into His Own Hands

A word of warning to any middle aged man wanting to date Helmut Seifert’s 17 year old daughter, don’t even think about it. The last fool who attempted it lost his balls (literally). Helmut, was so pissed when he discovered his teenage daughter was sleeping with Phillip Genscher (57) and the German authorities would do nothing about it, he and two work mates toddled off to pay him a visit. Genscher was forced to take off his pants and then the men proceeded to castrate him with a bread knife (that’s gotta hurt). Hmm, and so ends  that sorry little tale. When Helmut was arrested he said “I saw it as my duty as a father.” Papa 1,eunuch 0.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

The 7th Annual World Testicle Cooking Championship

You won’t be seeing this on a cooking show  anytime soon, the annual World Testicle Cooking Championship. High in a remote Serbian mountain village chefs gather to cook up animal testicles. Yes, you heard me, the chefs cook up the balls of kangaroos, ostriches, camels, bulls and boars.Hmm so if you feel like a beef ball goulash, gonad moussaka or a testicle pizza this festival is for you? Yummy!

Psst Hey Jammers, if you want any of the recipes just give Susi Spice a buzz!

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Filed under Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Waxing Your Testicles Is Wrong

OMG, a British man who let his friends Brazilian wax his balls nearly lost one after 6 to 7 layers of skin was removed. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Joe Cooper and 10 of his mates were waxing themselves for a charity fundraiser at a local pub when Joe decided to go the extra mile and have  his testicles waxed. Oh boy, someone obviously got overly enthusiastic and ripped too fast.  Despite Joe ending up in hospital, they did manage to raise $4,443 for the Leicester Royal Infirmary children’s ward. Well done boys.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Friggin Sack Tapping

Ow, ow, ow ...

No snowflakes, no. Playing “sack tapping” is only going to lead to tears. A Minnesota teenager is one testicle short after having been punched in the groin thanks to a stupid game sweeping schools. David Gibbons was changing classes when he was sack tapped (aka whacked in the balls) by another student. All seemed fine until a few hours later when he woke up in excruciating pain. Doctors were forced to remove his right testicle. Evidently this isn’t uncommon, Minnesota urologist Dr Scott Wheeler says he has to deal with up to 4 cases of ruptured testicles a year due to the ball busting game.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Man Kabooms His Balls

Oooh, nasty!

Oh dear, we have a bleeder!!! A man shopping in the Lynnwood Department store in Seattle has accidentally shot himself in the testicles. Geez, how many times do I have to tell you not to carry your friggin gun in your waistband? Police spokeswoman said he was wounded in the balls, leg and foot. Hmm, how does that work? Anywho, no word on what he was shopping for.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

It Takes Balls

A teen who walked into Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center with a gunshot wound to his testicles is being uncooperative. Hmm, really?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Beckham Gets Goosed

Italian Journo Elena Di Cioccio, sporting bright yellow dish washing gloves, grabbed David Beckham’s balls while he was being interviewed to see if they were really golden. The stunt followed Becks getting dumped by Armani as their underwear model amid rumors his package had been airbrushed. After grabbing his testicles she shouted ‘I touched it but it’s small. David you have conned us all. What did you use cotton wool? It’s all a trick.’ Oh come on Beckham, the comedy show Le Lene runs on a TV station owned by the AC Milan president. No biggie.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, You Go Girl!

Crushed Nuts

We have a bleeder

Honey, sweetie, darl, ripping out your lover’s testicles is no way to treat your man, even if he is cheating. Helen Hodge has been accused of using her hands to mangle her boyfriend Billy Duncan’s balls after she suspected he was cheating. An undisclosed source said “His scrotum had been ripped open and his testicles were dangling by his legs.” However when Ms Hodge was quizzed by police she denied any involvement saying  “I didn’t touch his testicles.I’ve forgotten what his balls even look like. He’s not been near me for months.” The poor wee Scotsman is lucky surgeons were able to save his manhood but alas not his dignity. Hodge 1, Duncan 0.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Denial, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Baseball, Brings a Bee to It’s knees

Bingo the Bee, who is the Binghamton Mets mascot, had an unfortunate incident after his little dance routine following a grand slam. I don’t know how big bee’s balls are, but I think they may have got just a little bit bigger. Took the sting right out of his day. Look away men, it’s nasty…

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Filed under How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!