Tag Archives: theft

Always Retrieve Your Body Parts From Crime Scene

police run prints from severed finger and make arrestA little word of advice to all would-be thieves, please don’t leave your severed finger behind at the crime scene as the police can and will get a finger print. Seriously, that is common crime sense 101. When a technician found a severed finger in a spool of copper wiring he gave the police a buzz and they ran the print. When they went to arrest the fool ,surprise, surprise he happened to be missing a digit. Oh the humanity.

3 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

No One Touches The Pop Tarts!!!

Mother has her son arrested for stealing her pop tartsA sweet toothed mother had her juvenile son arrested for stealing her Pop Tarts. The kid is now facing larceny/misdemeanor charges. I wonder if they were the 100s and 1000s ones?

Psst North Carolina

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, Well I Never

You Have The Right To Remain Silent Easter Bunny

The Easter Bunny has been arrested in Ohio. Seems his sticky fingers have got him in hot water. You just can’t go around stealing $1,600 worth of DVDs, even of you are the Easter Bunny. Oh, but don’t worry little snowflakes, the police arrested him after his shift and he’s due in court the day before Easter, so your chocolate eggs should be good to go.

13 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Day Care Bunny Found

Dude, stealing a rabbit called Twinkle from a church day care center is no way to go through life. Theodore Benner, a 20 year old uni student, was charged with burglary  after police were called to Benner’s dorm room following a medical call and a seriously observant officer noticed a rabbit fitting Twinkle’s description. During the search the cops also found Benner’s stash of marijuana.

Want sauce with that?

10 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Chuck Another Shrimp In My Pants

Has someone got a heating pad?

Honey, sweetie, darl, when stealing a frozen bag of shrimp it’s probably not wise to stuff it down your daks. The Pennsylvania man wandered over to the frozen food section of a supermarket and “proceeded to pull the front of his jeans away from his body and deposit one of the bags of shrimp into his crotch area,” Hmm, not a particularly good look. Brian Troy McDaniel then tried to make a run for it but how far can someone run with frozen balls I ask? Oh well, whack retail theft, robbery and simply assault on his bill.

6 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

I Want Your Sole

When Daniel Wayne Staley went digging around in a Jewish cemetery all he really wanted was a foot, so he took one from the corpse of a  girl. The Dallas teen was caught carrying around the foot in bag after a witness saw it. He has now been charged with theft of a human corpse.

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never