Tag Archives: thief

Catch Me If You Can

A brazen thief on a hoverboard stole a case of Lucozade energy drinks from a convenient store, in what can only be described as the slowest friggin theft EVER. Come on staff, you could walk faster…sheez!!! Lucozade, oh the irony.


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious


dumbassOh bless, a phone thief,  with no friggin clue, took some selfies on her stolen new phone unaware she was also uploading them the the owner’s online storage. Oooo burn. Police now have a pretty good description of the culprit. Pucker up loser.


Filed under Friggin Dumbass

Bad Balls

ballsIf you are going to steal antiquities don’t be stealing no Roman projectile stones. Just saying. Some thief who had nicked the 2,000 year old ballista balls from the ancient city of Gamla in 1995 learnt the hard way. Evidently, for 20 years he has suffered nothing but grief from the damn things, so much so he sent them back from whence they came with a little note attached, declaring ‘Please, do not steal antiquities, they have brought me nothing but bad luck.’


Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never


Oh dear, it seems Germany has a disgruntled government worker with sticky fingers (no pun intended) or someone with a severe lavatory fetish. Toilet seats in their new interior ministry have gone missing. Yep, the thief removed every single toilet seat , tap and loo paper holders in the building. Two months prior all the taps from the new BND intelligence agency’s headquarters were nicked, which started leaks throughout the building and caused millions of dollars worth of damage. Hmm, you would think they ‘d  have security cameras. Hello….man carrying uber toilet seats under his arm…suspicious!!!!!



Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Steal On Wheels

A British thief came up with a unique way to shoplift …pretend to be in a wheelchair. Unfortunately, she didn’t count on CCTV footage filming her miraculously getting up from her chair and stuffing items up her coat. Despite the footage she and her accomplice rolled out of the Marks and Spencers food store.


Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Concealed Weapon

Man a no show for holding up idiot signA female thief in Germany has found a unique way to rob a pharmacy. She squirted her breast milk at the staff, which  distracted and probably horrified them, before she took off with the money in the till. The woman was described as “robust” and spoke in some weird language. Hmm, so was that a booby trap?

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Thief Rings Apple Support

And the dumbass of the week award goes to the thief who rang Apple’s technical support for assistance with unlocking a stolen laptop. Seriously dude, good luck with that. Seems Apple sent a thank you follow up email to the real owner who notified them it was stolen. That’s when Apple support donned on their deerstalkers and tracked down the thief and the Apple Air.


Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!


dumbassThe loser of the week goes to the Michigan woman who got nine months jail for a home burglary that netted her $2. Oh but wait, there’s more, she also was ordered to pay $900 in costs and $845 in restitution. Now there’s a pile of lemons.


Filed under Sore Loser, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Marathon Runner 1, Bag Snatcher 0

I just need to catch my breath

I just need to catch my breath

Definition of Unlucky? Being chased by a marathon runner after snatching a purse from an 83 year old woman. What’s the odds? The exhausted thief was forced to throw the contents of the bag into the river after doing a few laps of the city and realizing he was unable to shake off the dude.

Psst Cork, Ireland


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious

Busted Cinderfella

Thief leaves his slippers behindOh for crying out loud mister , if you are going to steal 4.2 gallons of honey, don’t be leaving your friggin slippers at the scene. Sheez, of course the police dog is gonna sniff you out. Didn’t help that you live in the same apartment building, now did it?  Hmm, now it’s gonna be a bit awkward in the elevator!!!!

Psst Russia


Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never