Tag Archives: thieves

Black Market For All Your Dental Needs

dunceSome dudes were arrested for stealing thousands of dollars worth of Crest tooth-whitening strips… and no, they weren’t the Osmond’s kids. The guys were stealing the strips from mostly Target and Wal Mart stores with the intent of sell them on the black market to people with stained teeth. With that line of thinking why not just go get a job?

PSST It is going to be awfully embarrassing when the inmates ask them what they are in for …just saying.

 

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

No Price On Stupidity

thiefBwahahahahahaha, a pair of dumbass burglars were looking through a window when they spotted a wad of £50 notes lying on the sill. While one of the guys acted as a lookout the other smashed the window. When the owner heard the commotion he ran downstairs to find his packet of novelty £50 notes tissues lying on the floor. The would-be thieves fled the scene but a neighbour got a good description of the fools and the police arrested them soon after. They each got over three years jail for their efforts.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

God Shakes His Head

dunceOK, here’s the thing , when repeatedly stealing from your local church, don’t be selling the stuff at a garage sale in the same neighborhood. That is dumbass 101. Hmm, and to think god created them.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Best Way To Get Bowser Rash

Note to would-be petrol thieves, this is not how to do it.

Psst Queensland

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!, You Go Girl!

Not Those Nuggets, Silly!!!

Thieves break into KFC instead of jewellery storeThis is not what you want. A pair of dumbass thieves burrowed through a wall in Brisbane expecting to end up in a Jewellery store but instead they came face to face with junior staff at KFC. Whoopsie , seems the pair hacked through the wrong wall. Undeterred,they decided to hold up the Kentucky Fried Chicken store instead . This had been the pair’s third attempt at breakinginto the jewellery store.

Psst Yes, they got caught.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

Niceville No More

Oh my, what nasty thieves you have there in Niceville. Teachers at Rocky Bayou Christian School were shocked to discover thieves had not only broken into their band room and stolen two computer monitors but they had also left a rude message on the dry erase board. Yep, the bastards wrote “Rocky Bayou sucks go Niceville.” Don’t you all worry now, the marker they used has been sent away for fingerprint testing. No one gets away with being nasty in Niceville.

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Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Not So Tough Now

Holy curtain pole swinging girl Batman. Three balaclava wearing men, who broke into a house in England, got more than they bargained for when they woke an 11 year old girl. She came rushing into her parent’s bedroom, where the men were holding a gun to her father’s head and a brick to her mothers, and began swinging the curtain rod at them. Must have been one hell of a curtain pole because they fled like rats down a drain pipe.

Psst The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about little curtain pole wielding girls Fight Club.

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Filed under Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, You Go Girl!

How The Thief Stole Lorax

Oh no Loons, someone has stolen a 300lb bronze statue of Lorax from the property of the late Dr Seuss. The statue was standing on on the stump of a Truffula tree and we all know what that means, if someone doesn’t have a seed to replace the tree we’re all screwed!!! I bet it was the Grinch because the cat in the hat is too goddam lazy!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Toilet Roll Thieves Foiled

Bummer!

Oh for crying out loud, three men have been arrested after they stole a dozen rolls of toilet paper from a New Mexico restaurant. Not to worry, the rolls were returned to their rightful place.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never

The Difference Between British and French Thieves

Thieves in England broke into a Lancashire prison (yes, prison) and made off with £8,000 worth of cigarettes without anyone noticing. Meanwhile French thieves made off with $400,000 worth of Louis Vuitton merchandise from a Paris airport after overtaking 4 security guards. Hmm, just goes to show that French thieves are more interested in pleasing their women. That, or they are gay!!!

Psst Thanks Bill for the heads up.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !