Tag Archives: toilet paper

What a Relief

applaudLeft hands around Turkey are celebrating after top religious authorities in Turkey gave the thumbs up to toilet paper. Yes, it is now permissible in Islam to use toilet paper but….there is always a but…. it should only be used if there is no water source available.


Filed under Friggin Awesome

Complicating Toilet Paper

Sick of  poop on your hands after going to the toilet? Well have I got a product for you that promises faeces free hands. Introducing  pocket toilet paper, where you simply slip your hands into a pocket made from two pieces of toilet paper. Some dude is trying to raise $121,000 on a kickstarter site to get this little winner off the ground.   So far he has been promised $3 ….

Psst I think the prob is going going to be , how to slip it off your hand without, you know, having it run down…oh never mind.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !

Another Fine Mess For Venezuela

Venezuela running out of toilet paperThe good folks in Venezuela are running out of toilet paper. Seems toilet paper manufacturers are finding it hard to break even, thanks to the price capping introduced by the late Hugo Chavez and so they simply aren’t bothering to make any. Many are crying for a “revolution” so they can wipe their butts.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Toilet Roll Thieves Foiled


Oh for crying out loud, three men have been arrested after they stole a dozen rolls of toilet paper from a New Mexico restaurant. Not to worry, the rolls were returned to their rightful place.


Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Never Deny a Man Toilet Paper

A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, who couldn’t wipe his bum because there was no toilet paper in his hotel room got all postal and caused $2,000 worth of damage. Shit!


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Toilet Rolls Clog River

Oh for crying out loud, don’t bother taking out your camera to snap a shot of the scenic Lochsa River in Idaho anytime soon. It’s full of friggin megarolls of toilet paper. Yes, that’s right you heard me, toilet paper, thanks to a truck rollover (yes, there were skid marks!). The 8 rolls of unprocessed paper weigh about 8,000 pounds each…OK, scrap that, the waterlogged rolls weigh about 30,000 each now. Two were eventually fished out with a cable and tow truck but the rest remain wedged in an unreachable area. Fears are the rolls will break up and send big clumps of paper further down the river. Hmm, well at least the campers will be happy.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!

Nearly Dropped a Load!

OMG, when white dust suddenly appeared in an Alaska Airline flight  lavatory  everybody panicked.  Hello, anthrax or a bomb people because every terrorist thinks “Alaska’ when plotting to kaboom something.  Enter fire department and hazardous materials experts who determined the substance was in fact…wait for it…toilet paper. Sheez, I bet all 151 passengers who were delayed were relieved!

Want sauce with that?


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Well That Stinks

Sheez and were thought a flood tax was bad, Omaha Mayor Jim Suttle wants a federal tax on toilet paper to pay for all the upgrades on the crappy sewer systems in the US. Hmm, well at least they are attempting to get to the bottom of it!

Psst Please oh please, don’t tell our Prime Minister about it!


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

I Hope It Was 2 Ply

Oh my, an inmate at a Texas jail committed suicide by swallowing copious amounts of wet toilet paper. Joel de la Rosa (18) was being held on drug charges at the time of his tragic end.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Hi Honey, I’m Home!

Lonnie Pinnix from North Carolina has been arrested after he allegedly loaded his gun with a wad of toilet paper and shot his wife Darlene in the back. Shit! Seems Lonnie was a little miffed at his wife returning home after midnight and laying on the bed. He told her to get up, she said nope, and so kaboom, toilet paper bullet to the back. She was later taken to hospital for powder burns.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!