Tag Archives: tourist

Snakes Alive!!!!

OK Loons, one more time, DON’T kiss a snake. Any snake. Just ask the Chinese woman in Thailand…..

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt

When All Else Fails

Main diet of flies

Main diet of flies

A German backpacker who went missing after attempting to walk from Queensland to Uluru has survived for 3 weeks by …. wait for it… eating flies. Harsh. The 26 year old, who was picked up by two men, who found him wandering near Cooper’s Creek, seemed to be in good health and just wanted something less disgusting to eat and some ciggies.

Psst Hey Bearman, you remember eating flies on your trip Down Under, don’t ya?

4 Comments

Filed under Well I Never

Hey, I’m Beside Myself

Oh for crying out loud. An Asian tourist joined in the  search for a missing woman, oblivious to the fact it was her they were looking for. The woman was declared missing after she got off a tour bus and changed clothes and her group then failed to recognized her when she got back on board. The search involved 50 people and went throughout the night until the penny dropped and the woman realized the description of the missing woman  sounded a lot like her.

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

Thanks a Million

Whatever you do Loons, don’t figgin give birth while holidaying in Canada. An Aussie woman has got herself a whopping million dollar medical bill thanks to her little bub Piper. Ms Evans went into premature labour as she was about to board a plane out of Canada, three months later she was still there (in hospital that is) with the bill just ticking away. Seems her travel insurance won’t cover her labour or the baby’s hospital care. Hmm, so lets see, $8120 a day for 90 days, plus doctors and specialists bills…hand me a martini!!! Oh but don’t worry loons the hospital have given them a pay off plan. Yep $300 a month. Hmm, which means they should be square in 278 years!!!!

11 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Heil Dumbass

OK,OK, I know it maybe tempting but doing a Nazi salute in front of Germany’s parliament will get you an arresting even if you are a friggin tourist! A 30 year old Canadian from Quebec was caught doing the Hitler salute , which is basically an illegal act in Germany, while having his picture taken outside the Budenstag. Police were not amused and promptly arrested him.

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Spider Bites Tourist’s Penis

Stop ya bitching, I thought it was a friggin corn dog!

OK people, you might want to think twice about skinny dipping at Northland beach in New Zealand. Hmm, seems a skinny dipping Canadian tourist got bitten on his penis by a venomous katipo spider. Ewh ouch. The tourist isn’t sure when or where he got fanged but after going for a swim in the nude he fell asleep in the sand dunes and awoke to find an enormously swollen dick. No Loons, I know what you are thinking but he also suffered from a nasty red mark on his “shaft”, muscle pains, fever, headache and vomiting. The next morning he was still suffering from chest pains and heart palpitations so he got himself to hospital where he was given anti-venom. Meanwhile the spider was seen gargling with mouth wash!

10 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Oooh, that's gotta hurt!

Oooh, that's gotta hurt!

Only days after a woman claimed an elephant hurled a rock at her head, another woman, Zhou Juchang (60), claims a monkey pushed her off a cliff. Evidently she tumbled down a 7m rockface, breaking three ribs and fracturing a hip, after the primate took a dislike to her. Hello, don’t be holding a bag of food without sharing it with a monkey people! Hmm, now the woman is planning to sue her travel agent because they were the ones who organized the trip to the Chengu Wildlife Park in China. The park’s response “If you show fear a monkey will bully you,”. Hmm, so that’s why she is now focusing on suing the ass of her travel agent, dissed!

Animals in captivity 2, paying customers 0

4 Comments

Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!