Tag Archives: tourists

Tell Me Your Lion

A safari went awkward after a bus full of 30 tourists broke down in the middle of a zoo park lion tour . Some brave fools risked life and limb to scramble onto another bus while the others stayed put. Unfortunately for them the driver, who had exited the bus, hadn’t put on the hand brake and the vehicle began rolling down a slope, much to the delight of the curious lions. Luckily, the bus driver was silly brave enough to run after the bus and apply the brake. No one was seriously injured in the incident but the animals had a good laugh.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

There Is Something In The Water

Couple discover reason why hotel water tasted funnyWord of warning dear tourists, if you happened to be staying at a hotel where the water tastes “funny” you might want to spit it out NOW. A couple who spent 8 days at a hotel in LA were horrified to learn the reason why their water tasted strange was due to the fact that there was a three week old decomposing body in the rooftop water tank of the hotel. Yes siree they drank, showered and brushed their teeth in it. The couple told reporters “The moment we found out, we felt sick to the stomach, quite literally. We’re not well mentally. It’s the psychological stuff. If you think about it, it’s not good.”

Want Sauce With That?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Free Spending Money – Dob In A Taxi Driver

Tourists in Seoul paid to dob in taxi driversIn Seoul if you report a bad taxi driver expect to be rewarded with $450. Yes, you heard me $450. The city is so sick and tired of tourists being ripped off by rogue drivers they have set up an English speaking dob in  a bastard driver hotline and will hand you cash if their investigations prove you correct. Sheez, my city would be broke in a day.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Destination North Korea

OMG loons, guess what? North Korea is now accepting tourists. OK, there is a catch….no photos, no cellphones, no talking to locals, no wandering down the streets and, god forbid, never ever send an email. Hmm, but other than that, you are free to stroll around your hotel room and watch government run propaganda on the telly. Seems with all these nasty sanctions put in place by the UN and US are taking a toll on Kim Jong Il’s wallet. He needs the tourist bucks to keep up the lifestyle he is accustom to. A small area near the east coast that North Korea stole from South Korea, after a tourist was shot in 2008, will be the testing ground for the first load of tourists. Currently North Korea only wants Chinese tourists, which is understandable. If they step out of line and get thrown in jail the UN and the US won’t give a shit. Always thinking!!!!

The Loon is packed and ready to rip!!!

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Filed under Friggin Kim Jong Il, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Bus Hijack Ends Badly

OK, here’s the thing disgruntled highly decorated ex policeman with a M-16, I don’t think they will give you back your job if you hijack a bus of tourists and threaten to kill them…I’m just saying. Rolando Mendoza, who had been spitting chips over his sacking (drugs and extortion), hijacked a tourist bus in Manila and demanded his job back. Unfair dismissals can be a bitch. Anywho, last night the police stormed the bus and  it didn’t go all that well. Eight tourists ended up dead after the hijacker panicked and sprayed bullets inside the bus.  Questions are now being raised about the competence of the Philippine’s SWAT team after they hesitated in  shooting the gunmen when they had a chance. Hmm, it didn’t help that the whole saga was being beamed live into people’s living rooms. A sad and tragic end.

Footage of SWAT team attempting to end siege….OK, not that competent!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Friggin Falling Trucks Killing Tourists

Sheez, one friggin oil truck falls skids off a road at the Grand Canyon killing a raft full of tourists and they are already  blaming the government and demanding reforms….

Psst Onion News people, Onion News!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

What’s New Pussycat?

Oooh shit, my money's on the lions!

Come on people, where else would you get that up close and personal with a pride of lions? Geez, a group of British tourists are pissed that their resort safari jeep overturned and spilled them into a bunch of angry lions (Gosh, you know how many people would kill for that opportunity?). The incident happened at the Sanbona Wildlife Reserve near Cape Town. They are blaming the driver for causing  the tip over by reversing too fast up a steep embankment. Added to the trauma was the fact the lions saw the tourists as ..well lunch! Needless to say they are suing the asses off the park.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Please Don’t Shit On The Rock

I don't swim in your toilet.....

I don't swim in your toilet.....

OK here’s the thing people, when climbing up sacred sites such as Uluru, please don’t take up a roll of toilet paper and treat it like a toilet. Not only is it bad for tourism, it’s a sacred site. Traditional owners, the Anangu people, say they are fed up with human waste and rubbish washing down into their  sacred pool. They are seriously contemplating closing the rock climb to tourists.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never